I think I've finally achieved a semblance of normalcy after 6 months, not to say there aren't urges, and the financial ripples of my gambling are still present, but hey, the urges used to be almost impossible to stave off and the ripples were fricking TIDAL WAVES 6 months ago, so it's all good!

My normal means I don't lie anymore.
I keep my money.
I pay my bills.
I can sleep at night.

Its is hard to specify, what is normal...? I am sure the more I'll stay abstinent, my "normal" definition will be changing. As of right now:
Normal is: I can pay my bill on time; When children need a haircut or cloths I have money for it; when I come home and smell like smoke (even though I am not smoking) I don't have to create stories where I've been; Normal is when I am making my husband to call around relatives and ask to borrow money; normal is not to obsessevely thinking about gambling or cirtain slot machine... For now I am not normal, considering what I mentioned above, but one day I will be there.

depositing your check at the bank instead of the casino, waking up and feeling good about it, your life ain't decided by a roll of the dice or a push of a button, you can look in the mirror and smile at whose looking back, money doesn't grow on trees, can answer the phone without looking at the caller id to make sure it ain't someone looking for money ya owe, think beer and coffee should be on the food pyramid and if ya cant cook it on the grill it aint worth eating.

I always have heard that "normal" is just the setting on a washer.

Dewit-you crack me up!!!

Atticus-I hear ya! I think we all have our own definition of normal, but some of us had gotten so used to the abnormal life of a CG, I wanted to see what our differing versions of "normal" would be! And if they're put out there, then maybe they won't be something we're scared of, but something we can aspire to!

I know early on in my recovery, (even though I didn't know it at the time) I had no interest in doing anything! I couldn't *really* imagine a life without gambling. Even though I had stated intentions of quitting forever, deep deep deep down I thought that eventually I would be able to gamble "normally" again sometime. Take a few months/years off- then have the self control to go back to the casino, new and improved! But then life started to improve so much,I had decompressed and come out of the fog. Now I could create my "new normal", and believe MY OWN WORDS when I said I didn't need gambling in my life anymore.

So my new normal is a lot more stress free. A lot more focused. I have lunch with friends. I go shopping. I have food in my refrigerator. I order books on my Kindle. I do something new every day. I look forward to the weekends! I get my nails done and buy clothes.

One of my favorite movies of all time is "The Shawshank Redemption". There's a scene where a released prisoner can't handle life outside of prison, and hangs himself. Then one of the main characters is also released, and feels that same fear, thinks about committing a crime just to go back to prison. He'd rather go back to prison than have to always be afraid, go back to where "things made sense". But he chooses not to do that, chooses HOPE instead, and the last few minutes of that film make me cry every time I see it (and it's got to be at least 100 by now!)

I think if we visualize our OWN normal, which may not be anyone else's version of normal, it can be less scary,less intimidating and more real, more attainable!

Normal to me would be enjoying the moment I am in, the people I am with, without longing to be at the casino. Or being okay with being bored or lonely or sad or angry.

Resolved2 you giving me Hope.

Vicky, there is always hope. As long as we're breathing, there's hope! We're addicts, we CAN recover.

II2live-Becoming present in the moment was one of the greatest gifts I gave myself when I stopped gambling. It took a couple of months, but ever so slowly, the casino became a distant memory, and I *was* truly with the people I was with.
My 16 year old son started to become addicted to texting. No matter where we were, he was texting, so he wasn't REALLY with us. I saw the red flags,and told him that if he didn't learn to moderate it, that I would trade in his iphone for a phone with no text capabilities, and essentially ban him from texting! He knew I meant it! So, he showed me he could handle it, went through some irritable withdrawal symptoms, but now he watches his texting, keeps it to a minimum. I still keep an eye on it, will take action for his sake if necessary, but I realized that "not being present in the moment" is a part of all addictions, and we need to push through past that stage, as tedious and difficult as it may be. So, stay the course, you can do it!

This is a good topic. I think normal would probably be having a steady bank account and not having to cash your check at Wal-mart for the $3 fee because your account is over drawn.

Normal is not receiving gift cards on your birthday and selling them at half price (to try to get the money back) because you spent your whole check gambling.

Normal is not having to worry about a bunch of your mutual friends getting together because you told them all a different bunch of lies and bullshit to get a few bucks or some sympathy from each of them.

Normal is not having your loved ones lock up valuables when you come by to say hey.

I'm still working on defining what normal is, but these are all abnormal things that usually mean Bbird has been gambling. I don't miss them a bit either.

This is so interesting. When I read "normal' I think of what I perceive is society's normal. Hence, I have never belonged. In an interesting way maybe this might lead to the other thread of "what is the root cause of your gambling addiction". No matter how much I may long to be "normal" I never will be. So maybe that is the reason I
1)became and alcoholic
2) am a compulsive gambler
3} am an insomniac
The interesting thing is when I think about Why, and wonder-because I really feel like I have no excuse. All in all I am a pretty happy person [without the gambling & drinking, lol]. I have always felt like "What's your excuse" which I don't have one. Except maybe that I'm weak. Anyway, very thought-provoking, interesting question. Thanks, Shelly.

"normal" would be what I was like before I got hooked at the casino.

I was a decent, patient, loving, caring, understanding individual.

Today I am none of the above and Im very disgusted with myself.

My goal is to return to the person I use to be.

guess to me right now normal is someone that slept the night away instead of working it. lol dam am i tired. guess there aint nothing to normal going on here, how many people you know be kicked back with a beer at 7:45 in the morning. lol lol lol

Living life on life's terms is normal/healthy, for me. Love ya'll. God bless

A big part of normal for me is being able to trust my instincts again. For so long, I *couldn't* trust them because they were leading me down a path of destruction.
What scared me about "normal"? Being bored, never having that "rush" again, having to face the devastation.
What I found was that facing the damage wasn't as bad as I though it would be. And I'm not bored at all. And the rush? I now visualize the "rush" as a rushing, crushing wave that pounds me against the rocks and sucks me under, desperately gasping for breath until I have no energy left and I slowly drown....

Ok, for 5 days I was thinking what I can add to my normal definition.. Nothing came to my mind; today I decided to return to that, because I feel something moved inside of me. I was home for 2 days, but having only $5 until payday stayed home and did so much around the house! It feels strange. I have 5 days off every couple of weeks and it felt like its my long weekend. Normal is when you just do things, like folding a laundry or doing dishes without entertaining anything about the gambling! Wow, its huge!!