Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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4standing 03/09/2015

My husband has always enjoyed playing the slots. More recently he has admitted to me that he had been losing large amounts of money in stocks, and online games. He lost our 4 y old's college money, and some of his 401k in stocks.

In an attempt to protect my family I am taking over our finances. I admit, I don't really enjoy this stuff, and had left it to him to deal w. As a result, most of our bills are in his name, so this hasn't exactly been easy.

I feel like my best defense against his compulsion is a good offense. I was caught off-guard by his online activity and felt pretty powerless to stop him from opening new accounts, etc.

I'm learning new ways to protect us all the time, but I want to cover every angle.

Can anyone advise on how I can protect us from more debt and/or ruined credit? Any advice on keeping myself one step ahead would be much appreciated.

Thank you.

Qwit4Good 03/09/2015

You are headed in the right direction. He needs to be on board with all this - like hand over money management to you, give up any debit and credit cards he has, carry little or no cash, self exclude from casinos and on line accounts and be accountable for every minute of his time and money. Block specific sites from his computer with parental controls. If you are only working to stay one step ahead and he is not willing to do what he needs to do - you will likely continue in a power struggle and likely he will find sneakier ways to find $$ to feed his addiction to gambling. Unless he is on board with all of this and is willing to surrender his power over money, you will not be able to protect yourself and the rest of your family, short of a legal separation.

Counseling for both of you would be a good idea. GA meetings for him, GAM-Anon for you, problem gambling treatment sometimes includes couples counseling and GA offers problem and compulsive gamblers a series to do with recovering from the financial disaster their gambling has caused. Usually one must have attended GA meetings for several weeks and maintained abstinence for that period before they will allow participation in financial recovery part. (They do not want to waste time on people who have not quit and may not be serious about wanting to change their behavior.)

Educate yourselves, (both of you) about the brain chemistry involved in gambling compulsion/addiction. You may both benefit from an education group on communication and boundary setting.
His first step is to realize he cannot control his gambling any longer. (GA Step1: Admit that he is powerless over gambling and his life has become unmanageable because of it.)
There are GA meetings in almost every major city across the country and phone meetings available at least 3 days per week.
Good luck and prayers.

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