Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
oh where do i start on this one?
the last place i went to ga, seemed very impersonal, and badly organized. there were only 4 to 5 people and not much talking really.
but i did like them. i didnt feel out of place, just bored out of my mind. and i felt that if i needed to, i could speak my mind. but it became harder to go due to my work schedule.
so i went to one on a different day with a friend who also has a problem.
first meeting was great. second meeting i felt alienated, and VERY uncomfortable.
there is a woman there, who has alot of anger issues because of her sister and ex who she dedicated her life to and they betrayed her. she turned to gambling, and is now trying to stop. she tends to nonchalantly drop the "F" bomb while talking about how she feels sometimes.
she was asked to stop, but she slips. so during her time to speak, she slipped. the organizer of the group was irate. said she had been asked many times to not use four letter words and that it was disrespectful in a church to do so. They wouldnt drop it. then a friend of the organizers, also a member, chimed in. and they just couldnt let it go.
talking about how it was a house of god.
NOW, i think you should be able to say WHATEVER you have to say in a meeting. however you need to say it, because you need to get it out.
it doesnt matter if you repeat yourself, or use words, as long as they are not directed at anyone. you should not have to censor yourself.
we live our everyday lives with a mask from what we are going through. we work. we smile. and we constantly want to gamble.
life throws us lemons, and we want to go to the casino for a lemon drop martini and spend a couple bucks and relax.
we cant do that anymore. we have to let our frustrations out somewhere. who should understand better? than our own compulsive gambling buddies.
THEN, i think this one guy, is a group therapy junkie. him and his wife go. he says they are members of numerous groups. and he singled my friend out to talk, who didnt want to talk. then used her story for himself. when it comes time to share, YOU DONT HAVE TO. he said her name, and singled her out and made her feel pressured to share. she simply said she wanted to gamble, but had some coffee, smoked a cig, and sat in front of the computer instead.
he was like good job, i remember those days, i feel your pain, i can feel it radiating off you, sitting there, white knuckling it, fighting the addiction, wanting to go so bad. and continued to talk about himself.
he doesnt know us. we are calculating people. it is not pain we go through. but how dare he ask her to share, then use it to talk about himself? and try to use empathy? when he really only cares about what he has to say.
AND, you all know, i am a dealer, how do you think it is, to go into a meeting, seeing a person accepting a 6 month coin, when you dealt to them a couple weeks ago? he could really look me in the face, and lie? not my business to call him out though. and really, if he decided to, he could go tell my boss and i would lose my job. great. so also awkward.
the organizer called me the next day, wanting feedback on how the situation was handled. i said horrible and told him how i felt. and how i thought that the lady should be able to say what she needs to, and that if there is something that is "TOO MUCH" for someone to hear, then they can go outside, or go for a walk. they dont have to listen.
not everyone is gonna get along or like what someone else is saying.
he was still very upset about the F word. i basically told him to get over it. we are all adults. that i understand how he felt, and how he was raised, but not everyone is raised with such propriety, and he cannot impose his values. that i understood that he felt disrespected because he had asked her to stop a while ago. but she slips, and that she is not doing it to purposely hurt him, or anyone. it was just her manner of speaking, however innappropriate he thought it was.
he then told me how draining the meetings were becoming for him.
how he felt awful after them. and didnt know why he still did it.
that he wanted someone else to take over. said that i could run one.
i dont want to. i really dont. not that im not good at it, but i dont want that responsibility right now. im going to be going to school, and things need to be about ME right now and getting myself straight. i dont have time for others do i? and im really nervous about going to GA and running off customers. one of my best tippers came in there, garantee he wont be back to where i work. good for him though.
but how many more people do i have to see that i deal to?
and what if my work finds out im in GA and running off customers?
ugh.
the last place i went to ga, seemed very impersonal, and badly organized. there were only 4 to 5 people and not much talking really.
but i did like them. i didnt feel out of place, just bored out of my mind. and i felt that if i needed to, i could speak my mind. but it became harder to go due to my work schedule.
so i went to one on a different day with a friend who also has a problem.
first meeting was great. second meeting i felt alienated, and VERY uncomfortable.
there is a woman there, who has alot of anger issues because of her sister and ex who she dedicated her life to and they betrayed her. she turned to gambling, and is now trying to stop. she tends to nonchalantly drop the "F" bomb while talking about how she feels sometimes.
she was asked to stop, but she slips. so during her time to speak, she slipped. the organizer of the group was irate. said she had been asked many times to not use four letter words and that it was disrespectful in a church to do so. They wouldnt drop it. then a friend of the organizers, also a member, chimed in. and they just couldnt let it go.
talking about how it was a house of god.
NOW, i think you should be able to say WHATEVER you have to say in a meeting. however you need to say it, because you need to get it out.
it doesnt matter if you repeat yourself, or use words, as long as they are not directed at anyone. you should not have to censor yourself.
we live our everyday lives with a mask from what we are going through. we work. we smile. and we constantly want to gamble.
life throws us lemons, and we want to go to the casino for a lemon drop martini and spend a couple bucks and relax.
we cant do that anymore. we have to let our frustrations out somewhere. who should understand better? than our own compulsive gambling buddies.
THEN, i think this one guy, is a group therapy junkie. him and his wife go. he says they are members of numerous groups. and he singled my friend out to talk, who didnt want to talk. then used her story for himself. when it comes time to share, YOU DONT HAVE TO. he said her name, and singled her out and made her feel pressured to share. she simply said she wanted to gamble, but had some coffee, smoked a cig, and sat in front of the computer instead.
he was like good job, i remember those days, i feel your pain, i can feel it radiating off you, sitting there, white knuckling it, fighting the addiction, wanting to go so bad. and continued to talk about himself.
he doesnt know us. we are calculating people. it is not pain we go through. but how dare he ask her to share, then use it to talk about himself? and try to use empathy? when he really only cares about what he has to say.
AND, you all know, i am a dealer, how do you think it is, to go into a meeting, seeing a person accepting a 6 month coin, when you dealt to them a couple weeks ago? he could really look me in the face, and lie? not my business to call him out though. and really, if he decided to, he could go tell my boss and i would lose my job. great. so also awkward.
the organizer called me the next day, wanting feedback on how the situation was handled. i said horrible and told him how i felt. and how i thought that the lady should be able to say what she needs to, and that if there is something that is "TOO MUCH" for someone to hear, then they can go outside, or go for a walk. they dont have to listen.
not everyone is gonna get along or like what someone else is saying.
he was still very upset about the F word. i basically told him to get over it. we are all adults. that i understand how he felt, and how he was raised, but not everyone is raised with such propriety, and he cannot impose his values. that i understood that he felt disrespected because he had asked her to stop a while ago. but she slips, and that she is not doing it to purposely hurt him, or anyone. it was just her manner of speaking, however innappropriate he thought it was.
he then told me how draining the meetings were becoming for him.
how he felt awful after them. and didnt know why he still did it.
that he wanted someone else to take over. said that i could run one.
i dont want to. i really dont. not that im not good at it, but i dont want that responsibility right now. im going to be going to school, and things need to be about ME right now and getting myself straight. i dont have time for others do i? and im really nervous about going to GA and running off customers. one of my best tippers came in there, garantee he wont be back to where i work. good for him though.
but how many more people do i have to see that i deal to?
and what if my work finds out im in GA and running off customers?
ugh.
If you aren't ready, and don't feel like you can effectively chair a meeting, the best choice is don't do it.........meetings aren't supposed to be a burden......they are informative, educational, and helpful.
and if they were i dont think they would play at my table. my income relies purely and soley on tips. i dont think im going to go to this meeting anymore. me and my friend i went with are gonna have like a wine night and have our own meeting together instead and talk about things in our own way. we can find enough information and anything we would want online, and do online meetings.