Give yourself credit for making the effort to go and trying to better yourself. Hard to believe no one showed up, what kind of meeting is that? Addiction works mind games making us pawns by whatever triggers us to want to go gamble. Do not try to figure it out, just take it a day at a time and get thru that day. Some will be much easier than others. Know that relapse is a part of recovery, and pick yourself up if you fall. You can always come on this site, ask for help, or read past posts. ANYTHING is better than giving in to the cravings and having to go thru that pain again. God Bless

you can call into our wednesday phone GA MEETING..i will post details

Thank you me again and skip
I will be there

I just gave my bank card to a family member to hold. I won't be getting it back. This has always been my down fall...

Johnnyboy, good going!! That was a great idea having a family member hold on to your card. I hope the call-in meeting helps too!

I totally get the changing of the mind thing. It's something that made me feel like I was going crazy, like I had a split personality. It did lessen after I had several days of abstinence. During those first few days I treated myself like I had the flu. No pressures, no work, lots of rest. When I'd feel guilty about doing basically nothing I reminded myself that it was okay and actually necessary to get through it. When I stressed about not earning income I reminded myself that it wasn't all that important compared to what I needed to do to get myself healthy.

Sorry to hear about the no shows at your meeting. That had to be a big let down. Maybe try the next closest meeting listed on the GA website? Glad you are here. Take good care.

The extremes of being clean, and then fully engaging in plan to get to gamble does feel insane.
I can remember these swings.

The only time I was able to remain gamble free was in GA and accepting FULLY that I could not win. Sure, I "WON" all the time. But each and every time I ended up losing (even if OVER time). I lost so much more than I ever won.

We all win. All of us. The problem is: We just don't stop.

Once I got this concept, completely, the gig was up. If I fully believe and have lived this premise then why the heck would I step foot in a casino? I thought I was there for the money. If that was true, and I just don't stop I, inevitably, will lose over time, everytime.

Do you think you can get it back? Or get ahead? Or win and quit? Have you seen evidence of this fallacy in the past?

Commend yourself for getting to the meeting. I wish there was more support for you --- I suppose you don't have many to choose from in your area...... The call in mtg. is a good substitute.

AA meetings: you could go and ID as an "addict", this might help? Not sure. you'd want to go to "open" meetings - as I think closed mtgs are for alcoholics. And order some literature from Gamblers Anonymous Org site -- let me know if you'd like some guidance for literature to start.

I LOVE my GA meetings. I don't think I could have clawed my way out of the pit without it. Praying you find some really great support.

You are worth saving. Be kind to yourself today.

I have gone to AA and NA meetings in a pinch. As joycatcher suggests, it is not all that different. I am able to switch alcohol/alcoholic in my mind for gambling/gambler and find strength in going. I have two friends that started a GA meeting because others in their area did not fit schedule, they were the only two people for the first six months, they recruited more people and now have a thriving group as a legacy. I have a variety of GA meetings in my area as well as AA, NA, CoDA, and support groups that emerged from therapy, I attend an all woman's group facilitated by a gambling addiction counselor. (There is a men's group as well.) It is not a GA meeting but subscribes to many of the principles. The telephone meeting, this board and the National Council on Problem Gambling Helpline can also be a resource/tool, 24 hours/7 days per week it is answered by real people 1-800-522-4700. I also kept and occasionally used, in my first six months of abstinence, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, (depression is common in withdrawal), 1-800-273-8255.
There is no shame in getting someone to talk to and help, in fact, it is a sign of inner strength and total commitment.

Thank you so much for your support
I am not going to gamble today
I find tremendous strength in knowing so many others are feeling just like I do and today is day two and it feels so much better than day one
Again thank you

HI Tommy ....I sent you a friend request. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. It's been almost 3 weeks for me and I need to keep strong. I find talking about it helps a lot.