Of course God loves you. He would love you with 5 dollars or 5 million. It is not about the the money. You can tell yourself all you want you gamble for a the money but deep in your heart you know that is a falsehood. You could have all the money in the world and you would still want to gamble. I would. That's being addicted and a slave to your addiction. Not a pretty picture,and a recipe for a horrible excistance. You deserve better,tell yourself that, over and over. God Bless

looking forward to the call tonight as well, the more i listen/learn the better / accountable i am

i can only tell you that there isn't ONE person here that doesn't understand your dread/pain/suffering -

we have been there a million times......we just don't want it a million and one anymore

much peace...xxoo

You can do it neenee...and yes, God loves you ((BIG HUG))

Don't give up the good fight because you are worth fighting for! You only fail if you stop trying. I know it's not easy some days to abstain, but I like to think those bad urges days are an invitation to learn new coping strategies to flex your recovery muscles. Accept the challenge & keep learning how to remain gamble free XO

Jesus wants us all to know Him. He truly does love us. May strength hope and peace abide on us all.

Thanks all of yu for such encouraging comforting responses to my post. It means everything right now

My thought when I read your post was that four days of abstinence is not much to build recovery on. For me, I gambled for decades with some periods of controlled gambling and periods of out of control gambling increasing in frequency, duration and impact every year that I was in action. Thinking and feeling that I could not stop gambling, to the end of losing nearly everything. (Including my life, as suicide seemed the only escape at several points for me.) I employed various strategies over the decades to curtail my gambling and quit many many times, having more day ones than I can count.
It took around four months of abstinence for the dopamine to level out and for me to feel like a fog was lifting in my brain. But to accomplish even that, I needed therapy, three support groups, journaling, a gratitude diary, artwork, exercise, affirmations, dealing with childhood issues in counseling, friends, hobbies, engagement with my community, and prayer. In fact to maintain my abstinence, I use all of these things still, to the point that some have become second nature and feel natural.
At four days your body has not had a chance to get away from the physical withdrawal of dopamine which gambling gives us in massive doses. It is what makes the compulsive gambler crave being in action.
Do not beat yourself up for this, you are trying to do something very hard with hardly any tools. Trying again and again is worth it, it leads to hope, as opposed to giving up and giving in to the addiction which leads to hopelessness.