Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I try and I go a few weeks and even a few months, then I fail.
I am happy to say that when I came home today and told my husband that once again I have failed he said, What shall WE DO?
I said, "On Valentines day will you drive me to all the casinos so I can Self Ban?"
I read how this is the absolute way to kick this addiction in the A$$, but I have not been able to do this. I am happy to say, I have an amazing husband that has never made me feel like less of a person, but wants the old me back. He is hurt by the damage I have done to our finances and I in turn am thankful for his support and I will sign away my rights to damage our lives any further.
When I told him that I would not be able to at all enter in a casino for the concerts, he said, "Really a concerts for our future?" Well putting it that way, I take my future. I also told him it would be embarrassing if someone wanted to go to the casino and I had to tell them I couldn't. As soon as I said it I realized how stupid it sounded.
Looking forward to Sunday, what a way to start a new life.
.... and yes I do realize this time that I will feel like going and this time I will not be able to. The end of my rope I find I have a future.
I am happy to say that when I came home today and told my husband that once again I have failed he said, What shall WE DO?
I said, "On Valentines day will you drive me to all the casinos so I can Self Ban?"
I read how this is the absolute way to kick this addiction in the A$$, but I have not been able to do this. I am happy to say, I have an amazing husband that has never made me feel like less of a person, but wants the old me back. He is hurt by the damage I have done to our finances and I in turn am thankful for his support and I will sign away my rights to damage our lives any further.
When I told him that I would not be able to at all enter in a casino for the concerts, he said, "Really a concerts for our future?" Well putting it that way, I take my future. I also told him it would be embarrassing if someone wanted to go to the casino and I had to tell them I couldn't. As soon as I said it I realized how stupid it sounded.
Looking forward to Sunday, what a way to start a new life.
.... and yes I do realize this time that I will feel like going and this time I will not be able to. The end of my rope I find I have a future.
Concerts are held stadiums, concert halls and other venues - outdoors in Summer - if you want to go to a concert there are usually plenty that are not at casinos.
Once you begin telling people you are a recovering compulsive gambler it becomes easier. I told my family right away and my closest friends but could not tell others until about 6 months into therapy. Now I tell anyone that wants or needs to hear it. It is way more embarrassing what I did while gambling, I will not be ashamed of trying to get well.
I quit in Jan 2014, and as many of you know, your resolve is very high in the first days after you quit. One of the things I did during this time was to ban myself for life (I had the option of a 1, 5 year or lifetime ban). If I did not do this, I truly think I may have relapsed in the first few weeks. Not because of bad cravings, but my emotional state and moods were so weird during those first few months, I may have gambled just to feel normal. It takes time for your brain to recover from the excessive dopamine that floods it when we gamble.
Turning your money over to the hubby for awhile will help you a lot. Put as many roadblocks in your path to the casino as you possibly can. If you had a certain time you gambled, commit that time in advance - take a class, make a date with hubby, etc.
Also, take this time to learn about what to expect in those first few months. You will be detoxing and it can get rough. Your moods may be all over the place. I honestly thought I was losing my mind. But please believe me when I tell you IT WAS WORTH EVERY BIT OF IT!! Life without gambling is so damned sweet. You feel like yourself again and it is wonderful.
I was relapsing because of my mood and emotions were all over the place plus lying that I was going to be fine.
After all the papers were signed and on the way home, it was a great joy to see how much my husband appreciated this action on my part.
I did tell him I might get moody and I would need help with my emotions being all over the place while my brain detoxed.
The ride home was so good, knowing that these highway tips would be for some other reason and not to throw away money and my life.
Also, remember that a self-ban is just one of many tools available to you to stay away from gambling. In my opinion, it is the most effective one, but it takes more. Put a system in place with your hubby to limit your access to cash. I consider myself an honest person, and I was horrified to see what I would do to get my fix. You need to take this time to ACTIVELY train your brain to work with you and not against you. Some have tried hypnosis with success. If I ever begin feeling the urge to go, I have the number of a hypnotist programmed into my cell phone, I promised myself that I would make an appointment ASAP if this happens.
What I did was to focus intensely on the sights and sounds of the casino. I seared into my brain the intense smell of cigarette smoke (which I detest) that greeted me in the elevator lobby, the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom but holding it in so I didn't have to leave my machine - I imagine the damage it did to my kidneys. But most of all, I remember the feeling I had as I placed my last 20 into a machine and lost it. That was literally my last money I had - no savings - nothing. I withdrew it from the ATM knowing that several checks would bounce the next day and I had 2 weeks to go until payday. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy. If I ever get the urge to go again, my plan is to sit in a quiet place for 5 minutes and dredge up those feelings.
Use this time wisely. Put a plan in place and put up those roadblocks. YOU CAN DO THIS!!