Ahhh when I read both your posts - I can just think Hope Hope Hope.... Thankyou

Some of the best stuff comes straight from our hearts :)

Our addiction is one of the mind. Weird, huh? As if our minds are battling our hearts. In my heart I've always known the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, the truth and a lie. In my mind I've battled life, good was never good enough, bad was never sinister enough, there was zero balance in my life. Balance seemed so boring to me. I seemed so boring to me. It was a battle between my mind and my heart. And man, oh man...did I ever think I was smart! Being the over-thinker, that I am, my mind was full of half truths and lies. My poor ol' heart felt like an outsider... did that mean my mind was winning the battle? NOt sure, don't even care anymore. I do know that I'm paying closer attention to what I feel in my heart these days, these days of recovery. Just because I'm the self proclaimed, over-thinker, doesn't mean I think I'm intellectually smart. Today my heart speaks to my mind, finding balance, sometimes telling my mind it doesn't have to over-think this or that.

In my mind I know I cannot gamble like a "normal" person. My heart conveys to my mind, that it's okay, I don't need to over-think that one. I cannot gamble like a normal person. In my heart I'm beginning to understand that doesn't mean I'm a bad person, it never meant that. No need to over-think that one, either.

My mind is beginning to understand my heart. After all, they travel around in the same body, it's about time they started getting along! lol

I'v been reading articles on the internet about compulsive gambling in an attempt to understand why a friend of mine started gambling and has continued to gamble to the point where his life is completely unmanageable. An article led me to this site and thus, I thought I would share my story.
My friend's name is Jeff, he and I had a relationship for two years nearly fifteen years ago. He kept in touch thoughout the years, but never mentioned that he had any significant problems going on his life. This past April of 08, I got a call from him and he told me that he had developed a gambling problem about ten years ago and that he had reached rock bottom and was living out of his car. He told me that he had no one to turn to for help and asked if he could stay at my home for a short time. Subsequently, while he was staying at my home he revealed to me that he had legal problems as a result of his gambling addiction. Long story short, I retained an attorney for him and helped him with some of his expenses. I had a promissory note drawn up for the money I loaned him and upon returning to LA to face his legal troubles, he never made the scheduled payments to me. At which point, I had to enforce the promissory note with a demand letter at which time he started making the payments. It wasn't until later that I would discover from his dad that he had borrowed and stolen money from many people, only to run and never repay them. He ended up taking a plea deal and having to pay restitution for the incident in LA. Sadly, he did not make the first payment and instead ran.
He was a much different person fifteen years ago, which makes it so frustrating and sad to see what he has done to his life and other people's lives. He has had the support and love of family and friends thoughout his life, however, he always makes himself the victim whenever a situation causes him any discomfort. All I can do at this point, is hope and pray that he finds the courage to face his emotional illness which is the root of all the problems in his life. If anyone has had a similar experience I would love to hear their thoughts and perspective.

Thank you, Caroline