Thank you! That is what I am trying to say, but don't know how! I am in the same place as you! I am tired of trying to prove that it is a lie! i am tired of hearing one story, and a different one later on!
i don't know what you do!!!
Just like I posted in another post. My husband spent all his earnings last year, NOTHING to show for it NOTHING.....but I am not sure that I even care anymore. As long as he keeps the family expences paid, until I finish college and can support my kids and myself, and get a savings built up. I just don't care. I cannot beat this addiction for him, and I have been told many times he works for it, so I basically need to BUTT OUT!!!! I almost feel like go ahead and lie to me, I don't really care, but I want you to know that I KNOW you are a LIAR!! My reply to a lot that he says whether I believe it or not is hhhmmmm, or whatever, or just something general. He knows I rarely believe a word that comes out of his mouth.
Just wanted you to know your not alone! I am dealing with this same issue.

Dealing with lies????

I think the best thing to do is confront but not blame or name call.

For example..."I don't like learning that you left work early but you said you were going to stay late today. It feels dishonest to me when you don't do what you say."

Sure...it might piss him or her off...butI think the fair reply is...

"You have every right to feel upset about how I feel. I won't stop you from feeling that. You can be angry all you want! But I have every right to feel concerned when you "change gears" and leave me in the dark....because it's been a problem before with us. You just need to hear it from me...this kind of behavior feels dishonest to me!"

And then walk away. Call it for what it is....something that makes you feel uneasy.

One thing I am learning....is I have every right on the planet to my concerns and my feelings regarding this little corner of our marriage. Let him be mad that I don't trust him. Let him feel that his wife is uncomfortable....he needs to know that.

JMHO...
Canterville

Thanks for the responses. I am not saying that I am not mad. I have voiced that any times over. My H knows I am mad, disappointed, sad and any other emotion. I don't hide that at all. But, now I am speaking on when you have confronted about the lies. When your spouse has been caught and you have informed them many times before that you are caught. What then. I have even gone as far to tell my H that "you have lied so much, if you told me the sky was blue, I would have to goout there and see for myself". He looks pitiful for a while, but that hasn't stopped the lies nor the CG.

So, now what. I have just recently started started acting like I haven't heard a word. Or, I may shake my head up and down like ok. But it goes in one ear and out the other with me. My responses if any are real nonchalant. I am not going name call and I have confronted in the past with no avail, but more lies. So, now my feeling is I just don't respond when you come in with lies. I am not going to ask where you have been all night. The casino mailings that come almost daily tell me where you have been. The smell like you have been rolling around in an astray tells me where you have been.

So, now, there is no need to confront. I am not going to stroke out of here or have a heart attack from stressing about the gambling and lying. I am just not. I was just wondering what you all do.

OMG! are we married to the same person! The cigs and smoke smell that gives mine away everytime, and I will say you smeel like smoke BAD. He will usually not answer. When he comes in in the middle of the night and goes to the couch he knows I know he has been in the casino, cuz I told him one time you are going to have to take a shower, because that smoke is killing me, after that on gambling nights he was on the couch. I am in your same place! He will still do it, and I know it, and he still lies, he knows I know, and he feels bad, but it just continues. I just try to protect myself and my kids, that is all I can do at this time. I've asked him to leave again, but he is basically refusing.
I feel your confusion, I can't hardly stand it at times, but i guess we do what we must. Hang in there, and I will try to too!

I don't have any answers for you as in my case I am the CG and the liar...I do know however that Gamanon gives spouses,family and frieds of CG's a lot of answers...I would suggest you check out there website or call them and check out a meeting.

May I say this to you...this addiction causes some good people to say and do things they would never do normally..it also makes them hate themselves for lying to their loved ones...they know sometimes you can see through their lies..they are just trying to protect themselves...CG's hate what they have become...if you don't think so read more journal entries of the CG's.

One thing I know for sure is you need to take care of yourself and your children first..then your CG and his/her problems

Having lived through being on both sides of the coin, I've come to learn that going to a co-dependent's meeting was the best thing I ever did for myself. Long before I evolved into a compulsive gambler, I lived with an alcoholic. People advised me to go to Al-Anon but I refused to listen until I finally had no other option but to take some kind of constructive action. That's the best advice I can give you.

The reason is that those meetings will give you the tools you need to help you cope with a loved one suffering from an addiction. I would give anything if someone in my circle would go, just because sometimes what they say and/or do contributes to the problem. If you really want to learn how to deal with things then my suggestion is to go with an open mind.