Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
My morning now starts with a cup of coffee, and reading and writing about my journey in recovery. Its a lot better than coming home from a few days out gambling and trying to figure out how I can clean the mess up real quick. In reading the other posts, I am reminded, at least for me, how badly I want this, this time for me, I really, really want this. I'm so tired of gambling, I'm so tired of the emotional toll it takes on me and others around me. I'm so sick and tired of its "hold" on me. I'm tired! It beat the crap out of me, for 10 years, it beat the crap out of me, and I let it. Not sure if I wanted the pain, not sure if I felt I deserved the pain, not sure if it was self loathing, really, I think its a combination of all. I hated who I was, I was chasing it, trying to make myself feel better for doing it, and going back time and time again to make myself feel better. The draw to the casino was gross, I would almost get to the casino, and I would have a talk with God, that I would only stay awhile, I would get excited, my heart would pound, and I was ready to go inside and win. Of course, a few days later, I would drag myself out, physically sick, and emotionally drained. Financially devastated. How did I get home, driving after no sleep, no food, for up to three days at a time? Its the addiction, I get that, but, my gift today is I GET THAT. Its an addiction, and if I choose to act on it, one more time, then, I guarantee you, I will not survive it. I know, for me, I don't have another bet in me, or I do, if I am willing to surrender to this addiction, that is sure to cripple me. Not willing to surrender to this addiction, not today, not today. xoxoxo
gambling is like riding a bike, you will never forget how to ride once you learn how to ride. You will pick right up even after many years of not riding.
So, I choose not to do it and love this power over gambling. It's the freedom of choice I have that I never thought I did.
love the post. Counting happy days!
Hugs!
Love,
Victoria
It's only 12 days me being Gamble Free. But I feel so much at peace and in control of my life.
The financial ruins is there. But my room mate is right, lay all my cards, budget my income against my expenses, and pay off little by little my huge debts.
Looking at the budget plan, you I realized, how stupid I was trying to chase my losses to pay off my debts, there is a more normal stress free of resolving this, but when we are in the casino, our brain has a way of telling us otherwise.
We can all do this, we all deserve a peaceful and stress free life :)
Love you all guys!