Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Day 84 in recovery. The journey isn't easy, not be a long shot. I had this overwhelming urge this morning to go and gamble, I had somewhat convinced myself that I could go for a few hours, and I would have control over it. My mind is clearer now that I haven't placed a bet in a few months, so I could do this.
OMG, OMG, OMG. I quickly picked up the phone and talked it out, and even cried a bit. This addiction is the hardest thing I have ever had to walk through, honestly, it plays with my head, it tells me its okay to go, and can quickly convince me, its okay. Even if I go, and screw up, I can start over again???? What the hell? Even if I went, and I won, and I came home, I would go again, its the cycle of my addiction. I would go before and do what I called "play smart." Then come home, and go again, middle of my cycle, I would have remorse, but not so bad, since I was playing with the casinos money. End of the cycle, I would go, play for days, and play with my money, endlessly reckless, and dangerously hurting myself. My cycle for the last 10 years, and I'm nearing a 90 day mark, my addiction is telling me, its okay.
ITS SOOO NOT OKAY! I am an addict, the voices in my head, that seep into my every pore, very nook and cranny of my soul is the addiction. Its kind of crazy, to be in my head, as I battle this addiction, sometimes harder than other times, like this morning.
I am much better now, I know what I need to do, to work through the addiction calling my soul back to the casinos. The urge has gone, the reality of who I am, clear. I am a recovery compulsive gambler, I am in recovery, and I want it, I want recovery, so bad, that I will do whatever I need to do to stay in it. I will do whatever I need to do to squash the voices, squash the urges, squash the control this damn addiction has had over me for so long.
Showered, off to see my daughter at her spa and get a facial, then I am going to plan a new rose bush in my backyard. Today, I am grateful to have the people in my life that love me and support me, who listen to me, and encourage me to walk through this, today, I will not place a bet.
Today, I am a warrior. xoxoxoxoxo
OMG, OMG, OMG. I quickly picked up the phone and talked it out, and even cried a bit. This addiction is the hardest thing I have ever had to walk through, honestly, it plays with my head, it tells me its okay to go, and can quickly convince me, its okay. Even if I go, and screw up, I can start over again???? What the hell? Even if I went, and I won, and I came home, I would go again, its the cycle of my addiction. I would go before and do what I called "play smart." Then come home, and go again, middle of my cycle, I would have remorse, but not so bad, since I was playing with the casinos money. End of the cycle, I would go, play for days, and play with my money, endlessly reckless, and dangerously hurting myself. My cycle for the last 10 years, and I'm nearing a 90 day mark, my addiction is telling me, its okay.
ITS SOOO NOT OKAY! I am an addict, the voices in my head, that seep into my every pore, very nook and cranny of my soul is the addiction. Its kind of crazy, to be in my head, as I battle this addiction, sometimes harder than other times, like this morning.
I am much better now, I know what I need to do, to work through the addiction calling my soul back to the casinos. The urge has gone, the reality of who I am, clear. I am a recovery compulsive gambler, I am in recovery, and I want it, I want recovery, so bad, that I will do whatever I need to do to stay in it. I will do whatever I need to do to squash the voices, squash the urges, squash the control this damn addiction has had over me for so long.
Showered, off to see my daughter at her spa and get a facial, then I am going to plan a new rose bush in my backyard. Today, I am grateful to have the people in my life that love me and support me, who listen to me, and encourage me to walk through this, today, I will not place a bet.
Today, I am a warrior. xoxoxoxoxo
Leapyear22
ignore the typos, I was typing so fast, as I was in my therapy, I didn't even go back to read what I wrote :)
Cherbear2012
You did it! That is so awesome! Those voices don't care about us. They are part of our sickness. You shut them out where they belong! I'm so proud of you! Hugs! Cher
talkra8in1
Attend a meeting and listen to the stories. That helps. You did good. I want to get though the weekend.
deleted_user
Your stronger for it, congrats on not giving in, we support you 100%
newstarttoday
Keep doing what you are doing. Here is a hug for you.
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