It's that whole "setting boundaries" thing that is so difficult. With true friends, I think we can be honest and let them know our recovery has to come first. We can ask them not to talk about gambling around us, and we can find other things to do with them. Real friends will respect those boundaries, but it takes time and it's way easier said than done. If we really put our recovery first, we run the risk of losing some friendships, and that can be terrifying. But deep down, what's more important? I'm now at a point where I no longer hang out with most of the people I gambled with, because I've learned it's too risky for me. Maybe some folks can handle it, but I can't. Only you can decide. Day 1 is not fun, but we've all been there, and I'm glad you're here.

Thank you, I really appreciate your reply, Im so bummed I actually got teary eyed reading your post, thanks for the support to all of you, I don't always post but I do read this everyday.

Sparrow,
I lost a few people/friends/family in my life because of my gambling and recovery. And my lies. I almost lost a job because of my addiction, no one actually knew, that I know of, that I was spinning out of control mentally and emotionally and it was effecting my work performance. I don’t like to revisit those thoughts, but they are true. No dwelling.
One dear friend told me she felt guilty about being my friend because she gambles, this was after I was able to be honest with her. She told me she gambles with money she shouldn’t, and that she’s drinking too much, and that she doesn’t want to be a bad influence on me. I wish she would let me be a friend who understands.
Only a few of my family members understand how dangerous gambling can be for me; my younger brother wants to believe I’m okay, that my addiction to gambling wasn’t so bad because he loves me too much, know what I mean? He just wants me to be okay. I’m a mother figure to him. We have a close relationship, he can make me laugh when I’m down on myself. He’s such a good listener, but also a know-it-all, Hahahaha! He suffers with his own demons.
I didn’t have gambling friends because I was afraid they could give me away. My gambling was my secret life, in the closet. Ugh
My kids feel like my brother, they just want and need me to be okay.
My husband has a really difficult time discussing my gambling addiction because it brings up some ugly times in our past. Bottom line, he just wants me to be okay.
Hey, me, too. I want to be okay.
One day at a time.

Yes, it sure takes on a life of its own, and NOT a good one. When I was at the casino I looked around at the people and thought to myself, some are here to actually have a good time. I look at the faces and think how many of them feel the same as me here? Its not fun, its a scary place for me where I may lose it.
I have a few friends that know this and are battling the same demons, they talk about doing something about it but for whatever reasons they still go.
I have been strong in my life about some situations so why not this? I shake my head! what a mystery even thought about the chemical side of all this in the brain...….dopamine, serotonin. Well, just like any addiction, its work. I know that its up to me. My life is worth so much more, to have purpose and meaning is everything.....thanks guys for listening, trying to stay humble

I know the feeling sparrow to everything you posted. I live in a small town and nothing much to do around here but go to the casino. It's basically the in thing. Staying away was ok at first but now and then I get the itch. I want to go. I think its only normal. Then the next day...when I wake up in the morning, I thank God I didn't go last night because if I had of ....I would be kicking my ass. And your not the only one to ponder things.......I wondered the same thing when I used to go. . I would look at their faces and wonder how deeply they were into this crap....are they like me or are they just having a little fun. And I am also like you ....have a cousin who goes and tells me about who wins or loses, etc. It doesn't really bother me much. After a night of losing she tells me she's not going back for awhile. And then I don't hear from her. It's as if .....the only time she wants to talk to me is when she wants to tell me about who wins or loses. I honestly wonder if she needs her gambling buddy back. After all, misery likes company. Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself ....we all go thru it. It's a struggle that's for sure. Take care.

As soon as I got some clean time, I told all friends and acquaintances that I had a gambling problem and I did not want to go to casinos for any reason and I did not want to hear win or loss stories. I stop people often and ask them not to tell me about their gambling. I only lost a couple of acquaintances over the issue. My real friends don't talk to me abut their gambling wins or losses. My real friends make time with me to visit at home or phone or hike, or bicycle or go to a movie or the arboretum. One acquaintance continues to try to tell me gambling stories regardless of the number of times I put my hand up signaling and asking them to stop. Since I am deaf in one ear, when they approached me at a party, I surreptitiously plugged my hearing ear, smiled, nodded and heard nothing until they walked away. Not practical for everyone - but with practice we can choose to ignore the talk. Four years plus of abstinence and I still find it difficult when the talking heads on the news are all talking about big build ups in lottery jackpots. Today I will gamble.

Thanks all, weird how my mind is sort of in a spin from all the action.....trying to quiet my thoughts is making me confused. What I do hate is this out-of-control feeling that I have....
I think Im gonna try and focus on some friends that are not gamblers....I do have some real friends that know somewhat about my addictions. We do things other than go to the casino. For them, they can take it or leave it.
Well you all have a wonderful day, thanks for listening!

sparrow,
Keep doing anything as long as it doesn’t include gambling, embrace those real friends gratefully. By abstaining from your gambling addiction, one day at a time, you’ll begin to find that your confusing thoughts will start to make sense, or else subside. Gambling affected every aspect of my concentration, especially when I wasn’t gambling. Man, that sounds so real to me, looking back my head was always spinning; this is not a way anyone really wants to live. It’s such a feeling of being out of control, when the actual act of gambling is why our thoughts are spinning and out of control We can’t stop our thoughts, and we certainly wouldn’t want to to that, but we can stop our gambling.
You, we, our....I’m actually just speaking for myself

‘In a world so confusing, with my head so madly spinning, I wonder what the use is, if I can’t sing with the rest’

That’s the first sentence in a poem I wrote long before my gambling addiction manifested itself in my life. Little bits of my poetry stick in my head, waiting to be answered, maybe I can sing on my own.

Today I will not gamble

Thank you Robin, I am trying one day at a time for now. I do have some obligations in my life right now that are forcing me to look at whats most important. Its to a point where I feel very uncomfortable. Not in a bad way but in a way that will push my stupidity into action. Like they say, "tired of being sick and tired." Also, looking closely at my gambling friends and thinking about their lives. My friends and me included are unfulfilled, things are missing, its a crutch as any addiction. Hell, I have some other acquaintances that are using other distractions in life such as alcohol and stupid relationships. No one is perfect, I think about my married friends and think to myself, no way would I put up with that nonsense. Well, for what its worth I have one for you.....years ago, a friend and I was going back and forth with sayings....I would say one and he would say one.....this one has always come back into my mind....."you live in chains and you don't even know you have the key."
Today, I too, will NOT gamble.

Wow ......that's a good saying !!! So true !!!