Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
hello everyone. i been on and off gambling for about 20yrs. the last couple years i joined ds have been been mostly gamble free. but a few slip ups. wanted to share my strange feelings leaving casino saturday night. i had been on the up and down roller coaster for last couple of months gambling. not really even sure exactly when or how it started again. i blame the cold brutal depressing winter.. but i know the excuses i like to come up with. well anyway i was all consumed going almost everyday drinking heavily staying all night etc... didnt even seem to be about the money anymore turned into a 'lifestyle' again. well long story short i knew the losses were mounting and the end of my gambling run was near. so saturday i took my last 1000$ i had access to and lost it abruptly. i must have lost every hand i played . felt like the card dealers and casino had officially slammed the door in my face yet again . here's where the strange feeling started i would normally be abit mad and upset after losing that abruptly but for some reason i was relieved and almost abit happy that my gambling run was over .i had exhausted all my options to get more cash.. i left and had this calming feeling come over me. normally its anxiety and cant sleep for days. i went right to sleep and woke up and felt like a new beginning the next day. maybe since i have quit so many times before and know i can do it. i felt like losing that last bit of money was a weight lifted off my chest. i could now go back to my normal routine. has anyone else every felt relieved when they finally exhausted all their options to get more money ? this addiction is something else!. geez i never thought i would be happy to lose money. this addiction going to drive me nuts.. if im not already there. well thanks for reading looking forward to being on ds everyday now best wishes everyone Johnny
i never had a relieved feeling once done, but i couldnt wait to leave and get home in my bed and just start the recoup again, it was like going into detox, i guess?
happy for you, whats going to happen once you have money again? you have a plan? now, i find myself having money and its a little uncomfortable, but comforting, i have to learn to not spend, and sit on my hands for a while so i can really give a worth to MONEY again.
I also made a plan of what I would do when I had a thought to gamble - have list of phone numbers to call, have other things to do. Doing other things especially anything creative relieves anxiety and boredom for me. Having some abstinence accumulated helps. Once I got 90 days of abstinence it was easier to resist urges. (Chemical changes that gambling causes start to get rebalanced around 90 to 120 days.) When I got my tax return a couple of weeks ago, I was able to spend it on needs and not go gamble.
Good luck to you - I hope this is your final quit.
Hang in there my friend. I agree with Qwit4good . I have been on the same roller coaster as you . A couple of things that have helped me.
The next time you have the urge and money why don't you instead of gambling go buy yourself or significant other a present.
I am a avid golfer so I take a few clubs along in my truck . When I get the urge I go hit golf balls at the range.
I am keeping a log of my spending. ( do you remember when you could go out on 100.00 dollars and have plenty without gambling.)
Hope this helps. Stay Strong. Your with friends who understand.
Steve
This is why I give my money to someone else to keep for me... I still do it today - although I keep a little more on me than I used to. When I see extra money in my checking account the urge voice starts talking to me.
I guess it's the desperation that is felt deep inside or subconsciously that we're seeking to stop and know, inside, that the only way to stop is to lose the ammunition that fuels the addiction.
The other image I get from reading this brings me right back- when gambling went from being "fun" or even my little secret to a feeling like going to work. It became a routine that I couldn't break free from and, frankly, lost its fun factor- when I went out at the end it was more of a feeling of dread than excitement. That's when I truly turned the corner, I hope it is the same for you Johnny.
Hang tight and keep it simple.
Jay
I know the feeling but it's not easy. After 10 years, I am 1 yr and 4 months GF. I hope you can stay strong because those feelings do come back.
I don't know if this is similar, but a few weeks ago I had booked a "free" night comp at the casino hotel. It's about an hour from my house. Anyway, I ended up going by myself. First time I had done this alone. I checked into the hotel, went and played for a couple hours, went back to the hotel and looked around the empty room. I suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of emotion and all I wanted to do was get home to my family. I felt so lonely and just wanted to be done with this worthless habit. It was 3 in the morning but I left and went home. It felt so good to be home safe. I ended up going back this past weekend with a family member, but I am hoping this was the end for good. But something you said sounded familiar in the way I felt that night. Best wishes to you...hopefully we can stick with no gambling together! :-)