Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Do you remember what you were like before your addiction took over? I do, sort of. I was a free spirit, loved my daughter, was struggling, but did life. When my addiction started, I was unaware of the hold it would ultimately have on me. I started by going to play cards, and learning the skills of the game. I would go for a few hours, and spend a little bit of money, and I was having fun!!! So I thought.
As time went by, I was going more and more, and I couldn't think of anything else, if I wasn't in the card room, I was practicing my "skills on line." I graduated form the little tables to the big tables, and it went out of control from there.... actually, it was out of control at "hello" I just didn't realize it.
I have a sister that has a gambling problem, she loves the slots. Many, many years ago, prior to my addiction coming into play, I would take care of her daughter, and try and help my sister, I just couldn't understand how someone could be so addicted to slot machines, first of all they bored me, second of all, she would be gone for days, she lost her car, she wrote bad checks, she left her daughter, actually I remember once she left her daughter in the car so she could just go into the casino for a little while, and I remember being so pissed.
Fast forward 10 years, and I became addicted to playing cards... so I got it. Of course, I wasn't addicted to a game you have no control over, such as slots, I was addicted to a card game that required skill, so I was better !! LOL. yeah, not.
I'm in recovery, thank God. My sister has recently started to hit the slots again, sneaking out in the middle of the night, and texting me, to tell me she was "ok" boy do I remember the same text messages I would send, she said "I only brought 45.00 so I can't do that much damage, and I won't be gone long." BOY DO I REMEMBER those same words. I know she is in trouble, but, I have opted to stay out of her way. I did text her back and tell her she was looking in the mirror and telling someone who knew what she was doing. I also told her I loved her.
I am not here to judge, but, I will say, that I cringed when I received her text messages, not because I had the desire to go gamble, but because I realized how easy it would be to convince myself it would be okay, if I wasn't in recovery.
I am in recovery, one day at a time. My sister had stopped for awhile, but I have recently found out that she has been going and I just didn't know about it. She is the same one that when I went, would be so angry with me, that she would make my life hell, she would yell, she would call me awful names, and hang me from the cross. With that said, I also know how that feels, so I will never do that to her, or to the compulsive gambler that still suffers.
I will say a silent prayer, I will not enable, I will not judge, and I will, hopefully, one day at a time, stay in recovery and maybe be an example to others, or at least be here, emotionally to listen and help if I can.
Being a warrior isn't just about recovery, its about learning to live, to accept, and to not judge, or make excuses for our addiction. Recovery is the process, its also a new lease on life for me, personally.
Today, my sweet warriors, pray for the addict that still suffers.
xoxoxox
As time went by, I was going more and more, and I couldn't think of anything else, if I wasn't in the card room, I was practicing my "skills on line." I graduated form the little tables to the big tables, and it went out of control from there.... actually, it was out of control at "hello" I just didn't realize it.
I have a sister that has a gambling problem, she loves the slots. Many, many years ago, prior to my addiction coming into play, I would take care of her daughter, and try and help my sister, I just couldn't understand how someone could be so addicted to slot machines, first of all they bored me, second of all, she would be gone for days, she lost her car, she wrote bad checks, she left her daughter, actually I remember once she left her daughter in the car so she could just go into the casino for a little while, and I remember being so pissed.
Fast forward 10 years, and I became addicted to playing cards... so I got it. Of course, I wasn't addicted to a game you have no control over, such as slots, I was addicted to a card game that required skill, so I was better !! LOL. yeah, not.
I'm in recovery, thank God. My sister has recently started to hit the slots again, sneaking out in the middle of the night, and texting me, to tell me she was "ok" boy do I remember the same text messages I would send, she said "I only brought 45.00 so I can't do that much damage, and I won't be gone long." BOY DO I REMEMBER those same words. I know she is in trouble, but, I have opted to stay out of her way. I did text her back and tell her she was looking in the mirror and telling someone who knew what she was doing. I also told her I loved her.
I am not here to judge, but, I will say, that I cringed when I received her text messages, not because I had the desire to go gamble, but because I realized how easy it would be to convince myself it would be okay, if I wasn't in recovery.
I am in recovery, one day at a time. My sister had stopped for awhile, but I have recently found out that she has been going and I just didn't know about it. She is the same one that when I went, would be so angry with me, that she would make my life hell, she would yell, she would call me awful names, and hang me from the cross. With that said, I also know how that feels, so I will never do that to her, or to the compulsive gambler that still suffers.
I will say a silent prayer, I will not enable, I will not judge, and I will, hopefully, one day at a time, stay in recovery and maybe be an example to others, or at least be here, emotionally to listen and help if I can.
Being a warrior isn't just about recovery, its about learning to live, to accept, and to not judge, or make excuses for our addiction. Recovery is the process, its also a new lease on life for me, personally.
Today, my sweet warriors, pray for the addict that still suffers.
xoxoxox
Truly, that is all we can do for those still suffering, is pray, and maybe demonstrate by our own lives that recovery can be so much better than addiction was.
I am not always happy in recovery. I don't think anyone can be happy all the time, but I have proven to myself that I can be miserable all the time while in the throes of addiction.
I was sexually abused by a trusted member of my community when I was 14. He was a high school coach. I never shared this with anyone. I kept it inside and grew bitter and angry. Because of this abuse I embarked on a pattern throughout my life of recreating this situation; becoming the victim again.
It wasn't until I found myself in this addiction that i was able to piece this together. My gambling addiction was once again another way to punish myself. I realize now that it wasn't my fault and it's time to move on.
In some ways I am thankful for the insight my addiction gave me. Not only am I no longer gambling but I am also taking steps toward finally living up to my full potential, something I have never done before.
Maybe one day I will get better energy wise, but at the other hand I was burning a candle from both ends and overloaded my plate, so I guess I drain my resources pretty well and it takes time to recover.
One day at a time.
Hugs,
Viktoriya.
You know slot addicts think we have some skill / control too. lol. I remember trying to predict a machine, having a certain order of machines I went in, trying to trick the machine by changing my bet, cashing out..... stuff like that. Good Lord! What a mess!
Both of my parents are addicted. My mom is living on a fixed income and struggles because of her gambling - she mostly just does without everything but necessities - at this point. My dad is a very wealthy man and I have watched him go from a twice a month gambler to a weekly gambler and now he goes more than once a week. Every vacation he takes is to a gambling destination. He used to love nature and art and things like that.
I think how strange it is for him to go play slots and win 3K jackpots and be all excited. He has millions of dollars in his bank account.
It's a terrible addiction that robs you of more important things than money. It robs you of precious time, joy in other things, peace of mind, relationships......
I don't think I could help either of them want to stop. I hope I have the opportunity to help them stop after they have decided it's what they want to do.... some day.