Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

971 Members
6,389 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

starting over

babyrena
babyrena
Well I went back this last weekend, so I am at 3 days gamble free. I don't know I think it was a blow to lose my aunt and I just needed to disappear for a minute, I won but yet I still feel that defeat of why did I do it? I should have just stayed away. I don't know what to do. It has put a damper on my children and my relationship. I don't know what happened. I have that feeling of I could have won more than I did. I should go back and test another 5 dollars. I am still yet fighting the urges, but my children are honest with me and tell me that I need to stop now before I get in the hole again. So even though I won money which wasn't that big of a win, I still yet feel defeated. I hope I can last longer this time. I did get the fever back, wow. That was a neat feeling at the moment. But I know now that I been away a few days that it was a mistake to go back.
So please support me in the fact that I am starting over again. I still yet look outside at my car and say there is a reason I don't gamble anymore. I have to make those monthly payments.
I also look at my children, and thank Jesus that they are still yet standing beside me and encouraging me to keep gamble free, even though I mess up and gamble.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Congratulations on finding the courage to come back and start over again so quickly. We are here for you. Sorry about your Aunt. Fight those urges and take it One Day at a Time. Welcome Back. Lily
deleted_user
deleted_user
A relapse is not a failure,because your not. I have a illness. the problem, step 1. lack of power, I am powerless over gambling.Thats why step 2 and 3 are where they are.A power greater than myself,that can restore me to sainty. step 3 i turn my will and life over to this higherpower, for me it is God and his Son.I am not so sure we start over after a relapse. I think that is giving to much power to my addict.Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here.it is about right here,right now. That's where my contact with my God is. I needed to become WILLING. Make a decsion. Start to engage in the process.I started by going to GA meetings. Why? I needed a commitment. sorry for your loss. Your not alone anymore. God bless. Keep coming back!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am on Day Six of not gambling. I have been seeing a counselor for most of the last 5 months.While only having seen a counselor for the last five months, I first sought help for my gambling in the early 1990's. I have had a lot of day ones, too many. If you are endangering your food supply and shelter or someone else, you need to give up control of your money. I do not have a family -To protect myself from gambling the rent, car payment, etc I had to hire reputable company to act as my payee.and debt mgt. I take them my paycheck, they pay all my bills, give me an allowance and force me to save a little bit.Their fee is tiny compared to what I can push through a poker machine slot. (I manages over $3500 on top of my paycheck in a 3 day binge) I also tore up my ATM card. I needed therapy, journaling, real friends, to get away from people places and things, that trigger me, including relationships, being hungry, angry, tired, lonely and I needed to talk to someone else going through it or that had gone through it. . I have discovered I have to work at it to stay off the the poker machines. i also need to realize that I spent many years doing this it takes time and EFFORT. I am feeling stronger my relapses are progressively smaller and further apart. There is hope for us, I have some.
deleted_user
deleted_user
As I read all the posts I see little pieces of myself. I've lied to cover my gambling. I've felt so out of control that I have cut up my credit cards to regain some sort of control. I've left work early to go play. I've had the same thoughts, I can win more. In fact I'm having those thoughts now. I lost $1000 last night and in the back of my mind I want to try the last of my pay to get it back. I just keep telling myself that more than likely I will lose that and really be in the hole again.

Stay strong. At least you have the support of your girls. When you're feeling weak, plan an activity with them. It will be much cheaper than going to the casino (I should have gone shopping for a bedspread yesterday like I was suppoed to do.) God's best to you. We will recover.