no way

Hi Susan,

Sometimes people try a tactic called "controlled gambling" to attempt to stop or lessen their losses. Basically, you go to the casino with no cards and a set amount of cash. Some people (very few) claim it works. I tried it an it was a disaster! I became more reckless.

But to answer your question, I guess it is possible that he is now attempting to limit the amount he is gambling with. But I don't think it works for very long. If your friend is your partner, and attached to your finances in ANY way, you would be wise to be worried.

Many people (me included) were not particularly truthful about our losses.

I wish you and your friend the best.

You know the answer. The fact you are posting here says it all. Your concern is valid and your intuition is right. Obviously you do not approve of his gambling.

the amount he is gambling does not really matter. The fact he is ignoring or your concerns comes second by only gambling 10.00. A week is a problem. He is willing to gamble your relationship over 10.00 worth of action is a red flag. Compulsive gambler always leave a little wiggle room in their mind everyway possible.

his justification have shaken your ground, it's up to you how to deal with this for your own sake.

wish you and your friend nothing but the best!

Love,
Victoria

That would be a no here, too. I'll echo the other folks a bit and say that definitely the amount is not the issue, it's the consistency and, more so, being there myself many times, the only this amount or only that amount never works in the end.

I say no, too. the one thing you can trust about a compulsive gambler is that we will lie! while in our active addiction, the only thing that really matters is the addiction.

keep in touch and let us know how it is going.

For me, I can't place any type of bet, actually when I flip through the channels and I see a poker tournament on, I get butterflys and change it quickly. I can't be around it, I can't go near it, I can't even place a small bet, because for me, my addiction will not allow me to stop, I have no control, and I never want to go back there again, so in response to your questions, my response is a HELL NO. Hope that helps.

Lots of excuses - me too, I have lots of excuses. I'm new to this group. I am trying to find a way to go with a 'certain amount' and only play that amount. I am going to try it for a while, but I know it's not going to work. So who am I kidding - just myself. I'm an enabler - I not only enable myself to gamble, I help others to do so, too. I recently made a huge decision - do I sell my house and use the money to gamble or stay where I am and 'cut down' on the gambling. I chose to stay where I am, so now I am trying to 'cut down'. If that doesn't work (and from what I have read here - it won't), then I will try to stop. I know, I am just prolonging the inevitable, but right now this is my way of dealing with the problem.

Lotsaslots,
reading your resonse made me feel again amazed at how this addiction has it's own mind.

"I know I am just prolonged the inevitable", says it all.

you know the outcome already, but you are willing to take that chance, you are willing to compromise against your better jusdgement.

When we are active in gambling, when we somehow believe we can't let go, we cannot see the reality for the life of us.

With all the respect to your effort trying to deal with this problem, I truly hope you will consider other alternatives to dealing with this problem.

love,
victoria

Lotsaslots, please read what victoria2014 wrote to you, she is so right. Read what you posted, do you seen the insanity in that? Keep posting, please. xoxo

Susan - as newlife mentioned, it is called controlled gambling. I wanted to stop gambling altogether last June (2013). I went until September 2013, where I felt it wasn't working. I was still sneaking off and going, basically because my heart wasn't in it to quit. My husband suggested trying to go with just $100/week. This worked out for a while until it just wasn't enough to sustain my need. I found ways to take more money and the losses and lies about how much money I was spending was hard to cover up. I would totally binge gamble and then I won a couple of jackpots and lost every bit of it and then some. This "controlled gambling" DOES NOT WORK for a compulsive gambler. I tried to trick myself into thinking it would. Some days I still believe that I will one day be able to gamble for fun, but then I have a reality check and know deep down in my heart it will never happen. Could I go buy a lottery ticket (this was never my thing) - maybe....but will I ever walk into a casino and think I could play my $100 in a slot machine, NEVER! After the last binge I had in April, I had to make a deal with myself to get help no matter what it took. I visit this forum as well as another, I attend GA meetings and I see a therapists. I have friends that I have confided in and my family members know about my problem. I have made friends in GA that I call/text with. I even have friends in other states in GA that I contact. This all helps me stay in tune with my recovery. I hope you are able to help your friend.

Taking time this Saturday morning to read and respond to posts is great therapy for me :-) Hugs to you all!

My husband tried setting a limit for himself and it never worked for him. His therapist suggested it and I personally don't think it is a good idea- to me it seems like it would be too tempting.

again...thank you all for my night cap ...a dose of sound judgement, harsh but true reality........confronting the fact that my gambling habit is truly an addiction ... once the cycle starts...when my mind shifts from "i really shouldn't stop" .....to "why not...i feel like a win"...I am doomed......the outcome became a pattern.....even when I left with most of a win, I didn't keep it for long.....sometimes stopping to play at other centers and loosing my initial win and then some.................IF i could limit myself to $10/wk.........i would not be here now..........good luck and i applaud your skepticism.......the addicted brain can come up with some tall tales to cover our tracks............or so we think...............

Thank you all for that !!! I think I already new the answer but you like to believe what your told _I wish you all well I wish all the gambling places and things all around the world would blow up No income tax but I'm sure it would work somehow !!!!