You know I think I have myself figured out. It has taken me 14yrs to do so. My pattern for gambling is this: We own our own business, we get paid several thousands of dollars for each job we do. Our business is successful because of the person my husband is. Yesterday he received 2 large sum checks and the first thing I thought about was " he won't miss $500.00 so I think I will go gambling". You know how many of thousands of dollars I have lost with that thought? I have told myself this every time we get money. He trusts me and never questions where the money is going. For the 1st time in 14yrs I really thought about this process: getting money, going to the casino and if I would win I would crave going again to win more until I lost everything and then some. It is a vicious cycle. I WILL ULTIMATELY LOSE IN THE END. So, I keep playing this whole process in my head, WIN, LOSE,LOSE, WIN, BROKE. I actually visualize myself in the casino, playing, winning, losing, going to get more money and losing that too, then I walk out feeling horrible and you all know what emotions come with this. So, I have set some realistic goals that I want to accomplish that do not include gambling such as traveling, saving money, have my bills paid on time and stop abusing myself. No more WIN, LOSE, LOSE, WIN with gambling only winning in life. I have videoed myself on my cellphone with my goals and what I really want in life. Gambling will not get the best of me. Hope the best for all of you and to have a G/F day. I will con't to check posts daily and give updates on how I am doing. Sorry for the long posts. I am G/F 2wks and counting. Jackie