Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I am going on the 4th week of sheltering in place, leaving my apartment only for food, short exercise or meds. It has been 3 weeks since my last face to face support group. I am not triggered to gamble, but this social distance, isolation, worry about my own health and the rest of humanity is stressful and hard. I am fortunate to be still "seeing" a counselor weekly, over the internet via zoom video meetings now. My counselor is really helping me. I am also taking advantage of a free weekly meditation group offered through this counselor also being done on line. Both things always make me feel better during and after the sessions.
There other things that keep me going, not in any particular order, are:
1) a new weekly checkin with my 3 siblings via email. We are all in different cities sheltering in place and age range is 64-73 and we all have underlying conditions.
2) More checking up on each other in my social networks, FaceBook generally seeming kinder and gentler and mor authentic.
3) Reading Daily Affirmations
4) Practicing Gratitude
5) Reading/posting on D/S
Today I won't be gambling.
Just before the pandemic surfaced, I was reunited with one of my cousins. A first cousin. It feels like an old friendship rekindled, how was it possible we could pick up where we left off some 50 years ago? We did and we are. She’s on, can I say the name, I wonder, okay, a site for family trees, I did it. So because of this my daughter and I spit in a tube and sent it in off analyzing. Wow! Still waiting on results. Plus, my cousin introduced me to a wonderful art form called Zentangle, google it and be amazed.
My husband is still deemed essential, we’re both grateful but understand he could bring the virus home. During this time of isolation, when my husband is working, and I’m home alone, without being able to spend time my kids and granddaughters, I’m realizing, in ways I’m like Dorthy in the Wizard of Oz, “if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard “
I know after this time of isolation I will be more willing to tell people I care about them more often. I am more grateful for community, social circles and family. I will hold those I care about closer when I get to see them again. I will take meticulous care of myself in order to survive and hold them again.
I will not make a bad or uncomfortable situation worse.
Maybe, what I was trying to say, is that my gratitude for you, and the other people in my life, is amazing. Kind of like, love is there if we’re looking for it.
Regardless of our past or current harmful behaviors we are human beings that deserve love. In fact, I think that most human suffering, apart from disease and war are caused by a deprivation of unconditional love. I think this is part of why a spiritual awakening needs to happen for us to realize that our higher power is always there and we are always loved regardless of our bad behavior.
I finally realized that bad behavior is a call for help and/or an attempt to protect myself from the assault of the world. (Perhaps with undeveloped childish skills, as that is all I had before recovery.) So perhaps we always loved ourselves but did not really know how to demonstrate it to ourselves. (Just like my dysfunctional clueless parents, so long ago.) Perhaps war and disease also could be ended with an abundance of unconditional love.