Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Its been awhile since I was here and I realized how much I appreciate the support I have found here. My husband is a gambler and it has been going on for years. The cycle between us has wore me down and I keep ending up in the same place over and over again. I still haven't found the strength to make any changes.
As I've mentioned before, I have two stepsons who live with us full-time and the youngest has autism. In the past, they have been the main reason I have stayed because I have no rights as a stepmom. About 6 months ago, I had a baby and While he is my little blessing, it has made things harder. I want my son to have his dad, but I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. My husband has stolen my debit card and spent hundreds of dollars at a time. To complicate things more, his parents completely enable him, replaced the money he loses or steals, they take him out gambling under the premise that "it will get it out of his system" and have literally no boundaries with him.
I have asked them so many times to not give him money and they just continue to bail him out. They're solution is that we just need to move out of Las Vegas. It is so hard to constantly try to help my husband when I have no support and the things that I try are thwarted.
I am not under any disillusion that I am ready to leave him- I am always suckered right back in with promises to change and begging for help. I wish I could do what I need to do, if not for me, but my baby. We recently made the decision that I was going to stay home part time to spend with the baby and the kids- something that I really wanted and worked things out with our budget so that financially it would work. My husband voiced several times that he supported my decision and was on board. Last week, he was out drinking and gambling and told me that "that was his way of saying I shouldn't be going to part time work". Now I feel like a fool for making that decision and need to speak to my job and getting another position full time again.
I appreciate you'll just letting me vent and one of these days, I hope to be able to share a happy story!
As I've mentioned before, I have two stepsons who live with us full-time and the youngest has autism. In the past, they have been the main reason I have stayed because I have no rights as a stepmom. About 6 months ago, I had a baby and While he is my little blessing, it has made things harder. I want my son to have his dad, but I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. My husband has stolen my debit card and spent hundreds of dollars at a time. To complicate things more, his parents completely enable him, replaced the money he loses or steals, they take him out gambling under the premise that "it will get it out of his system" and have literally no boundaries with him.
I have asked them so many times to not give him money and they just continue to bail him out. They're solution is that we just need to move out of Las Vegas. It is so hard to constantly try to help my husband when I have no support and the things that I try are thwarted.
I am not under any disillusion that I am ready to leave him- I am always suckered right back in with promises to change and begging for help. I wish I could do what I need to do, if not for me, but my baby. We recently made the decision that I was going to stay home part time to spend with the baby and the kids- something that I really wanted and worked things out with our budget so that financially it would work. My husband voiced several times that he supported my decision and was on board. Last week, he was out drinking and gambling and told me that "that was his way of saying I shouldn't be going to part time work". Now I feel like a fool for making that decision and need to speak to my job and getting another position full time again.
I appreciate you'll just letting me vent and one of these days, I hope to be able to share a happy story!
What you tell yourself becomes your truth, your path, your destiny. In this post you are telling yourself (and us) that you can't leave because you always get suckered back in. The words you have written here describe the way in which you have given away your personal power to have the life you wish to live - to an addict no less.
I've done the same thing so many times in my life. I stayed in an abusive relationship because I told myself day in and day out that I couldn't or shouldn't leave for a large number of reasons - some of them good reasons even.
You do not have to stay with your addicted husband. You do not have to leave him. You do not have to do anything if you don't want to. Try to recognize that staying is a decision you make - he has no control over that decision just as you have no control over the decisions he makes (to not get help for his addiction for example).
I am sorry that you love an addict. His parents seem like a huge part of the problem. What have you done in the past to get your strength back? What strengthens you? Start doing that today! You can have a happy life despite the fact that your husband is making your miserable. You deserve a happy life.