Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I wrote this in part as a reply to another discussion but I felt that it would be helpful to put it up on it's own and have people explore if this also fits for them or if others can relate to this.
I had been raised middle class and as a young person till my 30's was so so poor and mostly struggling to make ends meet even if I was having a happy life. When I began to make more money and be successful in my lfe I realized how little money actual meant in terms of happiness and throwing my money away was a sort of defiance of that. I know that sounds bizarre but having money came with it's own set of problems and responsibilities and I don't think I was accustomed to coping with those the way I was the struggles of being poor.
When I thought about this more deeply
Being poor meant all my joy was in being resourceful in my intimate sharings and activities with those around me. I thought having money would be great but things didn't mean anything to me, even owning my own house a dream and goal I thought I would never have, I am grateful for it but it didn't replace the community I felt with friends and the struggling together my partner and I did. So throwing the money away on a machine was in some ways very much a defiant way for me to show how I really felt about it and how little meaning it had and how uncomfortable I was with having money.
My brother who is also a free spirit and I always joke that as soon as we have money we want to get rid of it (be the spending, paying something off entirely or our vices) because we are much much more comfortable when we have no money. It's back to normal for us.
I realize this is something I will have to look at very closely as a part of my recovery.
Instead of saving money I would have gambled I have ordered little things online and got some skin care products. While this is better it still means that I am getting rid of money ASAP and not just allowing myself to save and have abundance- perhaps saving for a trip or a second home or investing or just saving.
Anyone else relate?
I had been raised middle class and as a young person till my 30's was so so poor and mostly struggling to make ends meet even if I was having a happy life. When I began to make more money and be successful in my lfe I realized how little money actual meant in terms of happiness and throwing my money away was a sort of defiance of that. I know that sounds bizarre but having money came with it's own set of problems and responsibilities and I don't think I was accustomed to coping with those the way I was the struggles of being poor.
When I thought about this more deeply
Being poor meant all my joy was in being resourceful in my intimate sharings and activities with those around me. I thought having money would be great but things didn't mean anything to me, even owning my own house a dream and goal I thought I would never have, I am grateful for it but it didn't replace the community I felt with friends and the struggling together my partner and I did. So throwing the money away on a machine was in some ways very much a defiant way for me to show how I really felt about it and how little meaning it had and how uncomfortable I was with having money.
My brother who is also a free spirit and I always joke that as soon as we have money we want to get rid of it (be the spending, paying something off entirely or our vices) because we are much much more comfortable when we have no money. It's back to normal for us.
I realize this is something I will have to look at very closely as a part of my recovery.
Instead of saving money I would have gambled I have ordered little things online and got some skin care products. While this is better it still means that I am getting rid of money ASAP and not just allowing myself to save and have abundance- perhaps saving for a trip or a second home or investing or just saving.
Anyone else relate?
Lots of factors etc.
Since you and your brother both share this trait it might be worth looking into, since now, quitting gambling you may find that you have more.
Look at people who win lotteries and then end up right back where they were because they weren't "used" to it.
One of the gambling addiction recovery suggestions is to prepare for financial stability; something we aren't used to.
Great looking at it now and getting ready for the "windfall" without addiction.