Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Had a great day yesterday! But, last night when I went to sleep, I had a terrible nightmare, I gambled, and I was driving home, hysterical, in my dream I was contemplating suicide,,, or hurting myself, it was awful, I couldn't wake up out of it, and when I finally did, I really thought I went back out, it took me a few minutes to realize, I didn't, and I haven't for 40 days now. But it was so real, I was literally laying in bed with a disgusting feeling, I was so afraid. But, the good news is, I didn't gamble, I didn't place a bet, and today, I am gamble free. Its been hard for me to shake it off, the awful, gross feeling I had when I first woke up from the nightmare, I guess its God's way of reminding me of what could happen if I choose to place another bet? No more fires here, at least none that are causing any fear of evacuation like last week. I adopted a baby kitten from the animal shelter, and I'm sitting in my living room with the shades open and the sun streaming in. Its a good day. I think for me, this time is different, my recovery is so important to me, I am so afraid, that I am willing to do whatever it takes to guard myself from this terrible addiction. xoxoxo
I too had horrible "panic attacks" and would wake up wondering
how did I get here, addicted and making so many bad choices.
The more I read about this the more I see that it does have a
biological aspect and that the chemicals that are released or
we don't have etc. (they aren't quite certain which) but this may
cause such an upset with our bodies that I think we are just going through the withdrawal and this is part of it.
For me the very best thing was to just keep so busy so as to not
be able to think or let my brain take control of what my body did.
After some time it all starts to mellow out but as you read here
it does take some "fear" to keep us on the right path and to be vigilent that we don't succumb to the old habit and ways.....gambulling.
I just love your stories and your daily progress Leap,
you are so good as telling it like it is and then taking it to the
recovery stage and surmizing just what is happening inside you
to keep you focused and on the road to recovery.
I believe this only comes with a true committment and
a lot of hard work and it shows in your results.
Way to go for being so helpful to all of us,
whether day one or day 1000.
Maybe it is a very good thing to be afraid,
because as you can see it can get so much worse,
this really is ADDICTION and for some reason I think our
society just doesn't look at it that way as of yet.
again,
so happy happy happy for you.
Being in AA we have what we call "drunk dreams" it is very common. I have had many of them myself and yes, they are real and terrifying until I had them explained to me from people who had walked this path before me. The first thing I learned is normies don't have these dreams. Only we who are addicted do. The other thing I learned is they are normal and quite common. The one I like the best is that they are free! We get to use and not suffer any consequences. Breathe everything is okay.