Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
It has been awhile and life has been moving right along.
I have been clean since 4/18/16. I say clean because this addiction is like ANY chemical addiction. Please do not discount the severity and need for clean time to regain some thought regulation!
My view of events and ideas can still be very warped. I am a bit alarmed at how I can minimize the truth of destruction. Perhaps that is why it IS so important to stay near the newcomers, to remember reality.
I diminish the former sickness of my soul -- perhaps a way to protect my pride.
Pride. I wan't "that bad".
I was that bad. I was wishing I wouldn't wake up in am. I was possessed with my drug called gambling. It was ALLLL I wanted to do. I wanted more and more time away from life and in a casino. My number one priority.
As you can attest, it cost me more than money --- and with the addiction qualifier of tolerance (needing to do more to get the same effect = higher and higher bets = higher highs and much lower lows) the "fuel" ran out at an alarming rate.
Here I sit, with some time, but I need to check my brain in so many ways to zone into REALITY. Away from a warped perception. Perhaps it leads back to justifying. Supporting the story or beliefs that are inside me.
I guess my bottom line is identifying a healthy train of thought and working on focus.
Whatever I think ---- is right (the power of perception). Reality. But me in charge of what I think can be dangerous.
I CAN NOT afford misconception about my addiction and the life sucking reality.
I also CAN NOT afford to DISCOUNT the life in front of me now! I can not afford to minimize the progress, the change, the miracle.
People on this board have been SOOOO helpful w/ support, insight and honesty.
Just thought I'd post where I am.
I pop on now and then, and glad to see newcomers reaching out and familiar names lending hands.
battle of the mind....the physical takes care of itself..
I’m always trying to fix other people’s problems, probably as a way of avoiding my own. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by things I can’t control. And I try to hide my feelings. I’m like so many other addicts and that’s a comfort to me. There’s strength in numbers. I’m grateful for this site where I can come and let some feelings out, knowing you all will understand.
Today I will not gamble. It’s a gift I give to myself. I’m beginning to associate no longer gambling with freedom.
I love this post.
The more I take care of myself the less emotionally needy I am with my friends and family. The less needy I am, (the more I feel self love), the more I can see the rainbows and the flowers amongst the thorns and dark clouds.
such wisdom and in action :)))))))
thank you for great shares --
grateful and seeing that I am on the other side (although it is always there) and I want to know it is a part of me -- but not ALL of me. Not my entire story but this recovery is the spice or an ingredient added that will get the dish moving again toward the rich delicacy of a great life.
as a spot on friend says, " Why would I want to go out and gamble?.........I would not want to pet a cobra...."