Hi Bear. Yes payday was a day the same feelings arose. Ah geeeee. Now am broke. so in my mind I would 'think. Gamble and pay off all.Then I would play the tape.
Okay you want to gamble to pay the debt.
Well how come you got debt I would ask self?.
I would answer with , well I gambled.
Oh --so you want to gamble to 'get more debt ?
Of course I sure did not want more on my plate so ''Ended the mind chatter. ''
But I had it.Money squeaked and I balked ; but I 'also realized .Well least it is getting paid with my pays. So I turned it around . GEt paid , pay payments. Walk tall.Dignity restored with being Responsible.
I know I can't bet , because I can't win ', because "I" can't stop.That is a daily reality for me. I am a compulsive gambler and not gambling.
And last DEcember I paid off my line of Credit I had for over '8' years.My choice to keep paying it because It reminded me of what gambling did and would do if I returned. It remains a Keeper. And am grateful I do work. And I have a job to work at. So sometimes it is hard but harder when I 'knock myself down for doing the Next best thing .Pay down.. It does get Paid off.
Be well .. Patience.. I found helps.
Sandra gams5.

I think Sandra said it all except one thing Bear. I slightly remember when you gambled you didn't have money for food or "extras"? Was it you who wrote that? Well if it was, now you are paying your debt little by little, and you save extra for food and little bike trips with your mates and can afford to buy a soda when you are thirsty. I know when I gambled I would go out to my car and get the change in the ash tray and go back and see what I could do with that. Then I would starve all day because I had no money to buy food and had to come home where I could eat. So you may not have much left over but you do have some for the times you want a little something. You know deep down we all chase the bet. Its a circle round and round and round. I want to make a little, or a little more, or get back what I put in yesterday or get back what I just put in today. The story always ends "broke again". Don't give up Bear. Think how much better your life has been the past 3 months and live for today. Bear hugs to ya, barb

Hey Bear,

Like you, I would get overwhelmed and depressed when I would sit down to pay bills (I do it twice a month) and sometimes it made me want to gamble even more--chasing it. Now, however, it's a different story. I created a spreadsheet with all my monthly bills including credit card balances and minimum payments and also added the income along with cost of food, gas, etc. In doing so I could see in black and white how long it would take me to get out of debt. It also shows me how much money I have left over for little things like a movie or dining out. For me, seeing light at the end of the tunnel is so very important or I feel trapped.

I have a lot of credit card debt. I cannot make just minimum payments because it would take forever. Now, credit card companies are required to show you on the bill how long it will take you to pay off the card if only making the minimum payment and an option of paying X amount more and have it paid off in three years. It shows you how much money you will save. I know not everyone can pay the amount they state for the three years but it will motivate people to pay even $10 more than the minimum. Does that make sense?

I guess my point is this: One day at a time works for paying bills as well. It's not productive to focus on how much debt you have or how little you have left over. That will just lead you down the path to creating more debt. Seriously. It's my truth. I've done it.

So hang in there. One bill at a time. :)

Peace & Friendship,

Natalie

I cant tell you how many times i have paid off my credit cards and racked them back up. How many times ive won a signifacant amount to pay down my credit card. Only to go back to the casino and blow everything i won. So even if your waiting for that big win, is that gonna stop you? Probably not. I know its our greatest escape. but the only thing that keeps me trying is a little bit of courage, and a lot of faith. I just think about my life 1 year from now. I see how far i could be if i stayed away from that Hell Hole.
"Nobody changes until the pain of staying the same is greater then the pain of change."
WE all know that changing might be difficult, but in the long run we will find peace in ourselves. Stop the insanity i say to myself. Make yourself goals. Make a weekly goal, a monthly goal, and a yearly goal. I have relapsed many times bear. and I am not even 2 weeks clean. But i swear i will be clean of this addiction one day. I will fight this with everything i have. So dont get discouraged and know that we are all here for you. And dont worry about what others think or say. Dont beat yourself up and dont worry about yesterday. But believe in yourself and love yourseif, and know that we are here for you. Everyday that you are not gambling is a day closer to where you would like to be.

Your friend,
Nat

I know bear22, but paying your debt is just part of the healing process; it isn't forever. You will be free one day. I have been paying my debts off for over two years but I am starting to see the end is near, another year or so and it is over. Thank God for surviving this horrible addiction and pray for abstinence.

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts. It's nice to know that i'm not alone and reading the replies has made me feel so much better as well as given me more insight into the topic. I have no desire to gamble. It also was great hearing the different perspectives on this topic. Hope all are doing well in their recovery.

Bear from Australia!

Yes Bear....chased bets for a very long time. Day 7 for me & this is my 1st attempt. My experience is certainly limited but I am learning from other CGs all the time on www.sfcghub.....read the posts, attend the online meetings. Temptation will always be there but your REACTION to it is what counts. Today I will not gamble....took me a while to realize how STRONG those words really are. Postponing the idea gives you time to have the urge pass. I have mega debt also & will be paying for a long time BUT at least for today, I will not ADD to that debt. Everytime you are paid, you are paying DOWN the debt, think of it that way. One of the experienced CGs told me not to put every penny on credit card debt....leave a little bit for Eplin, otherwise you will become resentful & those feelings lead back to the bet.