Could you self ban from the casinos? Can you hand your card over to someone else until bills are paid.? I don't think you will go to the casino tomorrow, you are planning ahead NOT to go. Make some other plans dinner, visiting with someone, you got this.

Monday was the day I would go to the casino. Sometimes hit over 5 in one day. Win and lose. Last year I came clean.... I Deal with the issues that started me wasting time, money and my life. The last 2 Mondays were tough, I didn't put make up on and slept the whole day because of an. Injury i couldn't do my gym routine. The gym replaced my casino visits.
A bit freaked out about tomorrow because I have got to get a plan.
I ask myself a question. "Is what I am doing fixing my problem?" no it is not. My financial dept must be paid off and giving my money to a casino will not help.
Gabbling free Monday.

If you do not go I will not go either. Sounds like neither one of us want to go. So why don't we just not go. I have a better idea. Let's take the money we would have gone with and buy something we need and take a nice long walk for all that anxiety that we have and wake up the next day so very happy and proud of what we have done. This will pass,it has to,it always does. The trick is to delay it until it passes.

Paydays are a trigger for me as well. I endeavor to make plans for paydays. Sometimes the plan is to drive out to the country or sometimes to meet someone for lunch, dinner or hiking. Anything that is not gambling works.
For the anxiety I find that any kind of artwork, even coloring in a coloring book, relieves the anxiety not only while I'm doing it but it lasts. Hot bubble bath does wonders as well.
If you can get through the 20 minutes thought or urge to gamble without acting on it, the urge will pass and it will be a little easier the next time.
You can do this!

Paydays are awful for me, too. I had 14 days clean, then Friday, payday, I was sick so went home early from work at 11 am. Right, went home. Not. I did pay rent, paid a few other bills, then the casino where I stayed until 2am. I won...so went back Saturday and spent it all.

One thing that I am considering is to get rid of my debit cards. I have done that before and it helped. I gave them to a friend who lives five states away and she would send them to me when I took a trip. No other time did I keep them. Problem is, though, that I might be tempted to take all of my cash out of the bank which could be a disater.

I really think that I need a payee...someone who handles all of my money and gives me a small allowance for expenses. That thought is humiliating to me but gambling away my life is worse.

Hi Sheila,

Paydays have always been a trigger for me too...so what I do is go immediately home, pay my bills, get gas & groceries and whatever is left I put on my debt caused by former gambling. It's a real eye opener to do this and look at the balance in your checking account after paying bills & getting groceries that you realize you don't actually HAVE the money to gamble. I've gotten really into paying off my debts...its empowering to watch my debt balance go down. Don't wait on payday to pay bills n get groceries... Sit down & do your budgeting right away. Hope this helps, hang tough (((BIG HUG))

Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement. I did not go on Payday (yesterday) and did not go today. Tomorrow is another day....

Good for you! Today is all that matters at any given time. I am pulling for you!

I so relate to this! I blow all my money on payday and the scrounge around for 2 weeks until I get paid and then do it all again! I have found some ways to make extra money (buying and selling jewelry) and I put some money on a supermarket card before I blow it all so I will have food. Right now... having been paid yesterday... I have LITERALLY 5 cents to my name (plus a gift card with 35 bucks to eat).
I know I do it to escape anxiety but all I seem to do is create more anxiety. I go because I am lonely and then because I am broke I can't do any other social things in the rest of the fortnight! Sometimes I think I'm too resourceful for my own good... I always find a way through. With you in spirit mate!

oops meant to post this in this thread and posted it in another. (Not too far off topic there.) But here it is:
As I entered treatment, I had relapsed early on and was afraid I could not quit ever. I had the pattern of gambling on paydays and struggling for two weeks, repeat, repeat, repeat. My counselor asked me, "Do you feel like you don't deserve it?" And "What do you believe about gambling?" So once I realized that yes, I felt that I did not deserve a better life. I began to forgive myself and decided that I DO deserve a better life. Then I looked at my beliefs about gambling:
I believed that gambling was harmless fun.
I believed that gambling would relieve my bad feelings.
I believed that I could get ahead by gambling.
When I faced reality, I realized that for me, gambling was not fun nor harmless. Gambling only relieved my bad feelings while I was doing it and made them worse afterward. And I cannot get ahead by gambling.
Once I decided to change my FALSE beliefs I was able to change the behavior.
Beliefs are what drives behavior. Of course that is not all I did, there were many other layers of internal and external changes that were underway.
Do everything you can everyday to NOT gamble, like you are fighting for your life, because you ARE!
You can do this, hang in there. "

On my way home tonight, thought about "going up". The casino is 5 minutes from my home. Thought process: I will go up and spend $100.00, play my favorite machine. What's there to do at home? I can have some fun, could win and put some of the money towards my bills. Caught myself, and reminded myself what really happens. Go up, put card in ATM, ATM conveniently suggests $200.00 Quick Cash. That sounds good. Lose $200.00. Not going to leave a loser. Go get another $100.00. Now $300.00 lost. Many times more. I am retired, and have a part time job. Get paid on the 10th for my part time job. Justify my loss by thinking I will get paid next week. Next week, though, it's the same thing. And the rest of the month I scrape by. Go shopping with my family and see something nice I could have bought with the money I gambled away. Qwit4Good, I have asked myself the same question many times, Do I think I don't deserve a better life? Why do I keep punishing myself? But I didn't go up, not tonight. And I know I will sleep better tonight. Thank you again everyone for your support and encouragement. It helps so much.