Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I find myself going back to my old ways more often now...Why can't I go longer than 2 weeks or damn even a week at this point....I am such a bad influence on myself and the boyfriend...Since the last time I posted and gambled me and the boyfriend had a long talk about everything so we get everything aired out and so yesterday we meet for a drink well we started playing out of the bucket we won $50.00.. well that should have been enough no I talk my boyfriend into going to the casino...because you see I am feeling lucky because I having been giving out money all week ..which is a very good feeling...so now I think it is my turn to recieve it back...well of course it doesnt work in my favor that way...Well we lost the $50.00 plus another $200.00 so now again the debt hole just got deeper...than on top of that i go to the host office to get some food comps and they had me Sunday winning like $1750.00...I was shocked ..I made them investigate it ...I was on the same machine through the whole time i was there and they said that machine won that ..well I didnt win shit I lost 400.00...so I am just wondering now how many times this crap has happened...they corrected it said it was their mistakeand and took the wins off of my card...because the more you win the less they give you..and hell I didnt win the money so I dont want to be punished for it being on my card...that really opened my eyes on how this establishment is running ..my boyfriend patiently waited for me through all this crap than we went got our food and left..after getting home and having the old shitty losing feeling again ..my boyfriend says that he will help me in anyway he can as long as I can really quit ..plus he said he would help me to stop...another problem is my boyfriends christmas party is at the casino next month...he offered for us not to go ...but I dont want to do that to him..because of my stupid addiction..He just started this job last Feb,so this is his 1st christmas party...I just have to really make my mind up to stop...I know I can if I just let him help me and really commit..
thx all again for listening
~Roxxxy26~
thx all again for listening
~Roxxxy26~
Do I still believe it is about money? Of course- Not!
It was Never about Money! Money was just an excuse, same as "Ohhh, how could I be such a bad partner to take an entertainment in a casino from My husband"! My pitty party is over.
And I, myself is not promoting my own urges, triggering urges to anyone else, Nor playing Co-Dependency game with my husband, keeping it as my unlocked "back door", so I can always snick out to Where I Really Want to Be.
Your boyfriend is being very supportive to tell you he will not go to the Christmas party to help you. He knows that being at the casino is not good for you. The thing with this addiction is that we cannot stop and we would never be able to stand around in a casino and not play. There is always an excuse to play. I used to swear not to take my debit card with me, but would always find the excuse of...oh, I need to fill my car with gas and I don't want to "waste my cash on hand to do that". Bottom line, you have to start being truly honest with yourself. If you really want to stop losing your $$$ then you need to stop gambling and work thru the urges by going to GA meetings, or coming to this site, or finding an alternate hobby, something to do instead of gambling.
Until that happens, you will continue to gamble until all your resources are gone and you have no alternative. That's when gambling addicts face the truest disasters, jail time or worse, death...and that's not a solution to the problem.
I had a terrible time with this phase of things. I have gambled for over 20 years or more and it has NEVER been a problem except the last 2 which almost destroyed my life. I was holding on for dear life because I loved to gamble. Loved it. But you know what? I love ME and MY SON MORE!!! I refuse to let it destroy my life.
Your boyfriend can go to the party for his job without you. You do not need to go. Let him go and enjoy his party and find something else to do.
That comped dinner seems like it cost you $600 at least! You could have had a MUCH better dinner at the best restaurant around for less than that I am sure. Not worth it and it didn't even make you feel any better.
Only you are going to know when you are ready to quit but I urge you not to wait any longer. Make Rock Bottom for you, someone else's story about their rock bottom so you don't have to go thru the pain. Please!