Just stay with us Pam..

Yes even if you win, you'll not gonna go home til you spend all what you have anyway. Just stay with us.

We are with you.. We can do this :)

Love,

Charm

post all you need to, my friend. we've all had to do that, (and stiill do) it does help to vent, to learn from each other, and to read about how other people on this sit have the same struggles. we're all in different stages, but our struggles are about the same.

if you need to, stop going by the place of temptation. go a different. both our local casinos are on the east side of town. so is the favorite branch of my bank. but, when weak, I will drive way out of my way to a different branch just to avoid my area of temptation. and stop carrying cash for a while. and put that debit card up if it gets you in trouble. (mine did)

try to relax the rest of this Friday night. okay?

thanks both of you...and yes, charmed, even if i win i spend it right back thinking the blasted thing will hit again...same old story..lol..and good advice on a different route stop...and the debit card, im thinking about cutting it up...just keeping the info wrote down at home, some bills i pay online with it..that way, i dont have it on me to hit the atm with...im almost there, but not quite...scared i might need it,,then dont have it...maybe i will start leaving it at home when im out..that way i cant use it...it's a thinking in progress....hope you both have a great weekend. take care and god bless.... :)

God bless you pam........I know one guy who cut little slits in his debit card so he couldn't get cash with it, but he could still use it for bills and purchases...........

take care of yourself.

That's a million dollar question, why? Why? Why?

All of us have asked that question many times before. In my case, that why question cut through so deep that in the end I just gave up on life. I kept doing it as if I needed to hit the bottom of the bottom for it to totally shatter me to pieces, emotionally, psychologically and mentaly.
It was a total human distruction. At that point, financial ruin wasn't even on my back burner, it simply did not matter...as my spirit died.

For me, I know why I couldn't stop, rather didn't stop. At first, it was the reason to avoid my life issues, and then I became an adrenaline junky, as I fed my addiction, my losses were piling up as high as mount Everest. Then it became a mad chase, I know I've done it many times winning back, and I was delusional that I could do it every time. At this point, I was in tune with money but far away from it's value. I spent it big like there is no tomorrow and casino were my secret financial institution. It was not only a financial institution but it was my therapy session, it was my hiding place and it was a place I soaked my soul into fantacy land.

Any person with a reasonably intelligent mind cannot even fathom as to how a human being can be so irresponsible, minuaplative and deceptive to themselves, it actually made me feel like I was a schizophrenic.

It took me awhile to merge that mind and heart but like you, it started with asking that why? I spent lots of time in the first 6 month of my recovery just trying to put myself togther as a whole person. It was a one heck of a ride but I am glad I went through it and I would not trade with anything else in this world.

Each person has their own as to why, and each person also holds their own answers to why. It starts with their willingness to fix themselves and start being accountable for their own actions. Start taking chances on yourself, not on gambling. It doesn't matter if you have $20.00 or $200.00 dollars. Your moment of gambling pleasure will cost you years of regrets you will never get to reverse. Because, you are not just a gambler, you are a compulsive gambler. And this comlulsiveness is a flaw in all of us. Until we fundamentally fix this flaw in ourselves, it will strike out at any given moment. Why? Because we are a human being, we forget our pain with time, that's how we are designed.

Recovery is a journey, not a destination. We strive for progress, not perfection. One day at a time, make today the best of the last of your life!

Stop telling yourself you can control it by willpower, accept that you have no willpower instead. Don't stress the could haves, if it sould have, it would have.... if you only spent $20.00 and left when it was $40.00, you would been_____?

You are going to be ok my friend, hang in there. Your door is open, you just need to walk in there. You are worth it and loved.

Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts.

Love,
Victoria

Victoria,

I love reading your posts.

Maybe you can write a book :) You are so articulate, every word just hits me to the depth of my being.

God bless you.. and continue to inspire and enlighten us with the truth in your words..

Love,

Charm

When we are compulsive gambling, we are so used to saying yes to ourselves, talking ourselves into gambling for "just a minute, just $20", it takes practice saying no, changing our train of thought. Use what you can, drive a different route, limit the amount of cash you can draw daily( your bank will do that), don't carry your ATM card. Putting these steps and stops in place helps us help ourselves.

Thanks Cloris for the words and the encouragement and advise, I will take it...and Victoria...all i can say is WOW...you hit the nail right on the head...thankyou, thankyou, thankyou...you have given me alot to think about. I love this support group and the people in it. Again, thank you all,.,,,

Hi Pam,
I could not stop gambling until I finally took the advice from GA. In this sentence (below) from page #17 of the combo book. This was what finally made it for me. I had to quit spending time with my very best (always gambling and talking about gambling) friend and that was the hardest part. I had to say good bye to her and it was so hard but it was something I had to do because gambling was killing me. It's working! I have 126 days G.F. and I feel so much better. I take part in the telephone GA meeting on Wednesday. Give it a try if you can and keep coming back here too! This site is a life saver! Hugs! Cher

GA Combo Book, PAGE #17
"Don't test or tempt yourself. Don't associate with acquaintances who gamble. Don't go in or near gambling establishments. DON'T GAMBLE FOR ANYTHING."