Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I don't know if i'll get any responses but I needed to do something as I'm feeling absolutely horrible. Haven't been able to stop myself from crying for a full day now...including the night. I'm feelig so lonely! My common law is avoiding me and has not slept on our bed in the last three nights. can't say I blame him, but it'd be nice to hear from him that things will be ok and we'll get through this. I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I feel like a complete failure. I finally seeked help yesterday and I was so scared it made me sick to my stomach. I tried to call my common law for support but he has been avoiding any sort of contact with me. Like I said I don't blame him for being upset and feeling cheated....but I just don't know what to do to make it better. I'm too ashamed to admit to anyone else that I have an addiction....heck it was hard to even admitted to a stranger when I walked in the centre yesterday....I even ended up with a parking ticket...and that seems so trivial....any other time I would've been so upset! I'm lonely and sad and ashamed and digusted and disappointed with myself. How coul I have been so stupid?!?!?
I too have been beating myself up, but like artistic1 says " It won't help". Please forgive yourself and do one day at a time
Self Torture came easy. IN my Lows I always barated self that is why I held the secret in..Fear of judgment. Those feelings are so real. The Pain of being isolated by shame. I hear you. I 'was there. It is never a nice thing to be 'exposed. Well it is open now. You reached out to a center for help ?. Your partner is upset and 'is unable to be close with support. My fellow had no idea the nature of my problem, he figured I would snap out of it. But what he didn't know was the damage that 'I did not show him as I kept it hidden in my purse. When it all came out with complete honesty from me ,, it 'was horrid. My Saving GRace was in attending G.A where the group was on my shoulder with support ; but they understood. And quite Honestly I had no idea about this illness myself til I 'was Educated.
NO one likes to be duped. lied to , abandoned , rejected, and kept out of the LOop suffering immense loneliness. When in Action mode my spouse suffered all and more emotions. My misery was from not winning.
My personal pain caused me to 'STop.
Without Pain .. there would have been no reason for me to quit. The Consequences were brutal. I needed them. My Denial was so thick.
There is no easy fix. There is no cure I was told. I am a compulsive gambler.
ONe day at a time. Slow 'baby steps. Keep Reaching out to Help. GA works wonders. Counsellors 'treatment , addiction services. CRying is okay. buy Kleenex my case I used toilet paper.. LOL. couldnt afford kleenex .
Trust is lost , Heck I did not trust me so How could I expect my fellow to trust me.
He does Today. My Words had to match my Actions. Amen.
Be well. Sandra gams5.
Welcome to the board. I myself am on the opposite side as you.
So I can relate to your commonlaw. I am where he is right now...
avoiding any contact with my CG husband. In my case, I have to endure emotional abuse because he knows I know exactly what he's doing. I could tell you some of my emotions about how I feel, but I don't want to indicate that these are feelings that your partner may have. They are not pretty. You have made a great step toward helping yourself. My hubby has never sought help and never will. He has tried on his own and that worked for a year. So it is a one day at a time thing. I don't know what your defense mechanism is that you have protected your gambling with. I would dare say that this is what has your partner not communicating with you.... it is HIS defense mechanism and he takes it personally. We shouldn't take it personally but we are dragged into this disease with no say so in the matter.
I hope I haven't sounded too harsh but I hope this will encourage you
can mend your relationship.
Let me know if I can help in anyway. It gives me hope to see that there are CG's out there who are making steps toward not gambling.
I try to look at like this-An alcoholic can get sober by taking alcohol away from their system. But a CG has to constantly fight their mindset and it is always there. There is no physical element to take away.
God Bless you and good luck!