That is correct, that is a happy face in the title. I have self-banned myself from all casinos in Iowa, so literally the closest way for me to gamble legally is 3 hours away in Illinois or 4 hours near Minneapolis. I also was able to ban myself from all my online bookies. That was VERY difficult to do because they wanted me to continue to play. I tried EVERYTHING to close them and make sure I could not deposit anymore money, they insisted there was nothing they could do on their end and I would need to have "will-power". I thought about it and asked myself, What would be the worst thing they would ever want to happen?" Then it dawned on me, I had to go to each and every single website, contact their customer service and tell them and I was going to go to the bank and tell my banker that ALL my deposits to their books were fraud and that someone stolen my credit cards and ask the bank to go ahead and reverse the THOUSANDS of withdrawals. Obviously, I knew I would not do this because I had put myself in this mess and did not want any trouble with these sites. I just needed to be a little sneaky for them to stop wanting me to deposit and play on their sites.

It worked like a charm! Each site closed my account and said I was no longer welcome to play with their site or their affiliates! The internet gambling was my huge demon that knew how to get me to deposit every two weeks!

I decided this time to not have an official "start date" because that would act as a constant reminder and sometimes, for me, trigger a relapse.

I would make it to three months and think, Ok I am back to normal, I can do this, but lets be honest, you may win short term, but once you are a compulsive gambler, that stamp is there FOREVER.

So, here I am....I am working 50-55 hour weeks at my job to build a savings and live life (trips, things for the kids, hobbies). It also is helping me with the needing to be doing something so I am not gambling. Until I can fill this with a new hobby, I will need to work because the bigger paychecks is helping me not have to go online or to the casino to try to win any "short fall".

Because I stopped gambling, I have become a better worker at work. I have been given more responsibility because management can tell my enthusiasm and hard work has increased (ya, because I am not gambling which took all my time up). I also have gotten back with my ex (mother of my kids), she finally has seen the old person (pre-gambling) and we have decided to work everything out and do counseling.

This is a really hard road - getting in deep is easy, but the life change is not. It is just like any other addiction, you know when your done, you just need to find replacements and find whatever way works for you when you feel the relapse bug coming on.

I really apologize for the long message, I will be back more often now to be a support system for the people who are seeking and cheer for the people on their accomplishments.

God Bless.

Jere