Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Today is 41 days GF - last Friday, May 30 was a true test of willpower, when my flight out of Vegas airport was delayed by 2 hours leaving me sit in the airport for almost 3 hours. The machines in terminal C were "calling to me." I had cash in my purse. When I realized the flight was delayed, I asked my friend/co-worker with me to go eat dinner and go to the bar, but he said he was changing his flight to stay in Vegas for the night. Now I was alone. I immediately just started walking randomly for exercise through the airport, going nowhere in particular. I looked at the board again to make sure it was delayed to find the flight was moved to terminal B. So I headed that way and on the board in B, it showed on time, so I raced to the gate to find it was still delayed. So I ran to get something to eat, called my husband and talked for a while, then I found a gate with no machines! Score! I plugged in my tablet and phone and started surfing the net, reading Facebook and doing whatever I could to kill time. Finally, the hours went by and it was time to board. Thank God I had survived without gambling.
Fast forward to this week - all hell broke loose at work, frustrations were high, then my 14 year old pup got really sick and we had to put her down on Wednesday. Life wasn't good. I decided to take off early Thursday even though I left early Wednesday to be with my dog, Cloey. Thursday, I went kayaking on the Truckee River with friends to deal with my frustrations and stress. It was great. Friday, I had bad urges to go gamble after I had to make a deposit at the bank. I withdrew my little bit of cash for the next couple weeks - $50. I wanted to go to the casino, but instead went all the way across town (to kill time) and bought myself something instead. Then I made myself a deal to go to GA Friday afternoon after work. This is how I keep myself in check.
I got up this morning after sleeping in and decided I wanted to read everyone's stories and posts from the week and respond and write my own as I feel it is still good therapy for me. I keep telling myself I have made it this far, but I know I am not in the clear by any means. It is a constant fight! Anyway, to all of those folks on here who still struggle, please know it isn't the easiest battle, but it can be done! It is a lot of willpower and internal soul-searching and having enough self-love to make it happen for you.
One of the things someone said last night in GA is that it is a "selfish program" meaning that each person in it has to focus on themselves and put everything they have in it to help themselves! I know one person said they had to end a friendship to help herself. So being selfish to help yourself is sometimes not a bad thing, but all those people have the support of others in the program. And here on this forum, everyone is in the same boat and has the support of everyone else here, who is trying to accomplish the same goal. I love that everyone is cheering everyone else on no matter what happens or what step they are at in their journey/recovery from the addiction.
I hope everyone has a blessed and GF weekend! I pray that no one (including myself) goes out this weekend! Hugs and love to all, Renee
Fast forward to this week - all hell broke loose at work, frustrations were high, then my 14 year old pup got really sick and we had to put her down on Wednesday. Life wasn't good. I decided to take off early Thursday even though I left early Wednesday to be with my dog, Cloey. Thursday, I went kayaking on the Truckee River with friends to deal with my frustrations and stress. It was great. Friday, I had bad urges to go gamble after I had to make a deposit at the bank. I withdrew my little bit of cash for the next couple weeks - $50. I wanted to go to the casino, but instead went all the way across town (to kill time) and bought myself something instead. Then I made myself a deal to go to GA Friday afternoon after work. This is how I keep myself in check.
I got up this morning after sleeping in and decided I wanted to read everyone's stories and posts from the week and respond and write my own as I feel it is still good therapy for me. I keep telling myself I have made it this far, but I know I am not in the clear by any means. It is a constant fight! Anyway, to all of those folks on here who still struggle, please know it isn't the easiest battle, but it can be done! It is a lot of willpower and internal soul-searching and having enough self-love to make it happen for you.
One of the things someone said last night in GA is that it is a "selfish program" meaning that each person in it has to focus on themselves and put everything they have in it to help themselves! I know one person said they had to end a friendship to help herself. So being selfish to help yourself is sometimes not a bad thing, but all those people have the support of others in the program. And here on this forum, everyone is in the same boat and has the support of everyone else here, who is trying to accomplish the same goal. I love that everyone is cheering everyone else on no matter what happens or what step they are at in their journey/recovery from the addiction.
I hope everyone has a blessed and GF weekend! I pray that no one (including myself) goes out this weekend! Hugs and love to all, Renee
I worked in the casino industry (Reno/Las Vegas) for 12 years....the allure of those surrounds are constant and powerful! You are being so strong to redirect those urges, even when faced with the pressurized circumstances of life's challenges. Keep working it girl...one day at a time!
Isn't it funny....we are taught at very early ages not to be selfish. To think of others, share your toys, say please and thank you. But yes, recovery from this insidious stranglehold does require extreme selfishness, which was very difficult for me to adjust to at first. My boyfriend, in the beginning months of finding this site, would become upset about the amount of time I was spending on this site, posting and reading. But I felt compelled to continue my healing process, even if it meant that my actions and behaviors were perceived as selfish. My GA group assured me to stay the course...whatever works to keep you away from returning to the casino....do it. Do it with the same fervor that you once had about finding the opportunities to sneak in a trip to the casino.
We have to take care of ourselves before we can ever begin to take care of others....and to that end, do what you must, whether perceived as selfish acts or not, to continue your journey for a healthier life.
You're doing amazing....keep up the fantastic work! You are so, so worth every ounce of energy that it takes!
Be well, stay strong.
Warm regards,
Tagg
Way to go!!!
I commend you on your attitude and very proud for you!
One of my mentors at GA has a term for the type of writing or, in his case, talking about anything and everything that's happened- an oral enema. Sometimes that's the best medicine because as I've come to recognize, many of us compulsive gamblers are very sensitive people and really try and keep it all in- let it go and your day and mind will become easier.
Keep it simple!
Jay
So sorry to hear about Cloey. But I am happy to hear that you are succeeding. I am also happy to hear that you conquered your airport demons!
All of those strategies you have in place are working. It may not be easy, but it can be done.
The urges haven't been an issue for me so far. But I have planned for the possibility that at some point in the future, I will encounter the opportunity to gamble again.
When I first quit, I took deep into my heart the truth that I can never, ever gamble responsibly. Never. One dollar into a slot machine will end with me back onto the path of destruction. Also, in those last dark days at the casino, I seared into my brain the stale smoke smells and the sad, sad faces that surrounded me. Now, when I think of gambling, I swear I can almost smell stale smoke and I see those faces. I also invoke those sensations when a commercial for my local casino comes on the television.
You may want to add this technique to your arsenal! Just practice invoking the most wretched sensations or emotions associated with your gambling days, and link it to the sight of a slot machine. If you practice it enough, it really does work!
Again, I am very happy to hear of your progress.
Fighting some urges and triggers tonight...so this helped. A lot.