Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
So like I said in my other post, I have now reached my one year mark of not gambling. And don't worry, I didn't gamble to celebrate, I kept that robbing the bank example in my head.
I did, however, take a walk along the route I used to take everytime I'd go to the casino. Some old feelings came rushing back to me. For example, I remember always walking fast and thinking "just one win, just one win, as soon as I'm up, I'll leave". Ironically, I could never follow that rule.
You might want to ask, how are things after a year?
The good is that I am a lot financially healthier. I anticipate I'll pay back my credit card debts by the end of this year if all goes well. I've watched as my money grows and grows (I managed to do a balance transfer with 0% interest until the end of the year so I can save up the repayment amount and earn interest). The interest I earned in June 2011, was more than the interest I earned the whole of the last financial year when I was still gambling. That was disgusting.
I also have a lot of free time to do better things now. I go to the gym, I socialise with friends and I spend more time at work to work harder to advance up the chain.
No more telling lies and fibs about time that I can't account for. No more walking out of a casino thinking "oh my god, what the F have I done?" or "I just lost my next two pay cheques".
The bad is that the devil still talks to me. The voice is softer than during my addiction, but it's still there. It jumps into my mind when opportunities arise. It whispers to me to tell me to gamble. It uses its index finger, luring me to the casino. Once I was with friends and they asked what we should do. I suggested going to the casino. No wait, it was the devil that suggested the casino.
Since my last bet over a year ago, I have been to the casino twice. I had no urge to gamble once I was there. Seeing people's mindless and blank faces staring at the roulette wheel made me sick. I can't believe I was once part of them. It seemed so stupid. It is totally different to what the devil tells me. The devil tells me I can win lots of money and be happy, but what I see are people losing money and being sad.
I did have a bit of time to reflect these last few days, and it is a good feeling to be one year of gambling free. I remember I wished for this so much, and now I have it. But let me make this clear: it wasn't easy. I don't believe in God, but if he does exist, he made sure I paid a high price for my habit - taking away my ligament for something I enjoy the most in life, being basketball. That was the ultimate factor in stopping me from gambling.
To all the people who want to stop: take it one day at a time. Challenge yourself. Go one day without. Then a week. Then a fortnight. Then a month. You can do it. Don't make excuses for relapses.
I did, however, take a walk along the route I used to take everytime I'd go to the casino. Some old feelings came rushing back to me. For example, I remember always walking fast and thinking "just one win, just one win, as soon as I'm up, I'll leave". Ironically, I could never follow that rule.
You might want to ask, how are things after a year?
The good is that I am a lot financially healthier. I anticipate I'll pay back my credit card debts by the end of this year if all goes well. I've watched as my money grows and grows (I managed to do a balance transfer with 0% interest until the end of the year so I can save up the repayment amount and earn interest). The interest I earned in June 2011, was more than the interest I earned the whole of the last financial year when I was still gambling. That was disgusting.
I also have a lot of free time to do better things now. I go to the gym, I socialise with friends and I spend more time at work to work harder to advance up the chain.
No more telling lies and fibs about time that I can't account for. No more walking out of a casino thinking "oh my god, what the F have I done?" or "I just lost my next two pay cheques".
The bad is that the devil still talks to me. The voice is softer than during my addiction, but it's still there. It jumps into my mind when opportunities arise. It whispers to me to tell me to gamble. It uses its index finger, luring me to the casino. Once I was with friends and they asked what we should do. I suggested going to the casino. No wait, it was the devil that suggested the casino.
Since my last bet over a year ago, I have been to the casino twice. I had no urge to gamble once I was there. Seeing people's mindless and blank faces staring at the roulette wheel made me sick. I can't believe I was once part of them. It seemed so stupid. It is totally different to what the devil tells me. The devil tells me I can win lots of money and be happy, but what I see are people losing money and being sad.
I did have a bit of time to reflect these last few days, and it is a good feeling to be one year of gambling free. I remember I wished for this so much, and now I have it. But let me make this clear: it wasn't easy. I don't believe in God, but if he does exist, he made sure I paid a high price for my habit - taking away my ligament for something I enjoy the most in life, being basketball. That was the ultimate factor in stopping me from gambling.
To all the people who want to stop: take it one day at a time. Challenge yourself. Go one day without. Then a week. Then a fortnight. Then a month. You can do it. Don't make excuses for relapses.
Did you go to GA meetings and any councelling or you did it on your own?
Your storey inspires me.
canadian - good to see I provided some inspiration. I made a thread a few pages back providing my story. In short, I tore a ligament in my knee one day and had to have surgery. So I physicallyy could not make it to the casino. I busied myself with rehab because I was scared I would not be able to walk properly again, and over time, I guess the urge to gamble just slowly died out. Although the flame still flickers weakly every now and then.
How are you going with life, if I may ask?
I walked out of the casino feeling glad I hadn't lost any money, like so many others there had. I went to the supermarket and treated myself to a lemonade, but more importantly, I appreciated what I could buy with the money I would've gambled with. It really makes you appreciate life when you can see so many other wonderful things that money can be spent on.
Today I will not gamble - Thanks Toey!
If you step back, or watch from a distance, focus on one or two players, and watch them. They are mindless. They are on a route to losing. You will see that when they win, they won't walk away. When they lose, they'll play the next round to win it back. It's such a vicious cycle. They don't care about anything outside of that game.
Once you see that, ask yourself if that's what you want to be.