Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I am so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I have been literally on a four day gambling binge, which just ended at 3:30 this morning. Although I wasn't at the casino 24/7, I was there for about 8 to 10 hours each day, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday night after work into the wee hours of Tuesday morning, and the damage I have caused myself is significant. The whole gory truth of it all is I took out money from my IRA (not to gamble, but to put into our checking account as BECAUSE I had already overdrawn it from gambling). I paid our bills, BUT, prior to everthing clearing the bank, I had the awful urge to gamble and so I went and did it. I then proceeded to draw out as much as I could over the 4-day period, which amounted to about $1,800 and now I don't have one nickel in my wallet and of course the checking account is negative to the tune of approximately $1,250 and things will be bouncing before we get paid again. This is just ridiculous. I am so disgusted and ashamed. This needs to stop and STOP NOW. It is getting worse, like they say it does when you go back to gambling. This is the worst I have ever been. I'm crying as I'm typing this because of what I have done. To others out there thinking they can go for just "a little" fun and be in control - YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT. So, once again, today is day 1 and I am hopeful, because of the way I am feeling right now, that this will be the last day 1.
deleted_user
I'm so sorry, my friend! I know that feeling in your gut that you are the lowest form of creature. The truth is, yes, you did an out of control, painful thing to yourself and your family. BUT $1,800 can be replaced. The lesson it caused you to see about your reality where gambling is concerned is what is left, and it sounds like you are not going to let that lesson go to waste. Someone in an earlier post said it so well that you have a blind spot in your brain. You have something in you that makes gambling a poison to you. Don't keep sipping the poison. Sure, other people can have a little bit of gambling and be just fine. But you can't. Your strengths lie in other areas. You are NOT a horrible person. You are just sipping poison instead of fresh, clean water. Run from the poison. You will get well!
deleted_user
I feel for you for I have been on that road many times. I would stop for weeks and months and then one day when I would think that I ave it under control, go there for fun. Thgere is no fun play for us, compulsive gamblers. I have done it so many times, getting rigfht back in to it and going on a binge as you did, taking money out from any source that I can think off. It takes a second for us to get right back in to it. This is why, I have stopped even driving on that road that has casinos on it. I take other roads to work. I never wana see a casino again in my life. Going to GA meetings remind me every week of the terrible consequences from this addiction. You must stop right now and do not even go near a casino let alone going in side. I have been gamble free for almost 4 weeks now and it feels so awesome. I am sorry to gear about your ordeal, but you can get back up, dust yourself, pick your pieces and live your life the way you weana live it..whioch is gamble free. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
deleted_user
I have shared your feelings so frequently I too am embarrassed to say. I am making this huge step and it is hopeful to know others are there for us. This is a new beginning and I am up for the challenge to overcome this addiction. Day 3 for me. Making plans for a gamble free weekend.
deleted_user
I hate to say this mam or sir, but my mother's g.a. counselor says that you have to hit rock bottom before you will stop. Only you know what rock bottom is for you.
deleted_user
Imatotalmess is not really a good profile name to use because you are putting yourself down. The best way to combat addictions like ours would be to think of the things we are really good at and focus on them so that we will be distracted from the temptation of playing. Find strength within yourself, dear. Once you find you are really a great person inside, it will be much easier to overcome compulsive gambling.
deleted_user
You've got to try your best to get out of your depression because that will only make things worse! You will feel like gambling again as a means to escape your feelings of depression!
imatotalmess
Thanks everybody for your support. I'm doing o.k. and feeling a little less desperate now that the initial shock of my destruction has worn off. I'm still sick to my stomach over it, but it will get better, that I know for sure. Maybe this is just exactly what I needed to do in order to feel even stronger. Some say our paths are predetermined, I really don't know. I do know that something within me felt different while driving home from my binge. Then when I got home, my husband was already up getting ready for work (he's a truck driver). I apologized for being so late and told him I would not be doing that again. He told me "well, it's what you love to do, you love to gamble." I almost cried right then and there. I told him I loved him more and vowed to change my ways. I'm sure he's thinking yeah right, but now I have something to prove to someone who means the world to me. Since I'm a pretty competitive person and don't like to lose, I made a bet with myself that I would not gamble again, and I'm going to give it my best shot to win this bet! Again, thanks everyone and here's to another gamble free day.
deleted_user
It's like being in the clutches of a beast with tentacles. You peel them off of you one by one. Sometimes while you are peeling one off, the one you thought you took care of grabs on again. We will get ahead of it. We just have to be in for the ride of our lives! There's no going back.
deleted_user
Perhaps you can think of some things that you used to like doing before the gambling and do those hobbies again. Or perhaps you can look for a new interest.
newstarttoday
I just did the same thing. I will pray for you, please pray for me. It will get better. Try to remember how it feels to be healthy, compared to this feeling. It is not the whole person of who we are. Think about the good things about yourself too.
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