L, goes back to the hug I just gave, sunshine. Its only applies in GA, so you can handle rambling of people who may irritate you in meetings. But GA teaches you to apply it in your life. Its really important for staying gambling free and also for not switching to different addictions. You set your principals and stick to them. Learning to always place Principals before Personalities (even, if its your own father ) may be chalenging, but it way worth to apply it in your daily life.
I wish you and everyone Have a Happy Thanksgiving! And to Always place Principals before Personalities!
Believe in yourself, my friends and keep it simple!
Love, Vicky

I respect everyone's opinion and realize what works for one may not work for another.

I have decided to assert to myself only (not to you or anyone else because it may not fit you like it does me) that triggers, cravings to gamble and relapse are illusions that I tend to create in my mind when I refuse to do the work of recovery.

I refuse to create them any further! Please hold me accountable to that.

Ric

L, I know exactly what you mean. It is especially hard that you went as a group. I think you have a great pro-active strategy. That is the thing you have to do. Make sure everyone knows that, Yeah, going to the casino is no longer on your list of viable options. As I said to someone yesterday, all I say is "Gambling has got me in trouble". End of story, period. Of course they will ask questions, but I simply re-stated that sentence. May I make a couple of suggestions. If your family is into playing games, make sure that you take, or someone else brings a family favorite. NOT poker, lol. Something like scattergories, charades, or catch phrase [fun game and pretty competitive]. The other thing to do is have a movie. Again, either you take one or rent one, or have someone else bring one. Just a suggestion. I think your steps to curtail your access to cash are great. L, I wish you a beautiful Thanksgiving, and will be sending those vibes your way. All good things, Love ~atticus

Oh do I understand. It seems like I always dream of a wonderful time with family. I think of how I would like it to be and always set myself up for dissappointment. My father is always very critical of how me and my siblings run our life. He always say how much he loves us and the next breath is you did that, don't do that, you need to do this...... The anxiety that builds up in me always creates those strong strong urges to escape. With my upcoming court date I know I can't and won't act on those urges. I will pray for you and send good vibes your way. I am thankful for you and everyone else on DS. I pull my strength from you. Thank for sharing.

Lastloss is right... the triggers are only illusions created in our own minds to use as an excuse to go back to our addiction. And hence.. not do the work that is involved in getting healthy.
Nobody makes us gamble, nobody forces us. We make a conscious decision to gamble.

When I am tempted because of another persons behavior that affects me , I just pray really really hard and ask God to help me , and then i try to occupy my mind and time with something positive.

Dear Ll2life and others, I want to make another reply on this post.
My husband and my mother both 36 years older than me, old school, absolute control freaks. One I accepted and one I love. I am 39 years old woman and my mom still telling me how I should wear my hair, etc.. She tells me I need to cut it short and my husband likes it long. My husband in total opposite, he would like if I look like a mid-price range prostitute. No offense to ladies of love... And I did not have a Long-Island Ice tea either.... So, they tried to control me emotionally and mentally, now they cannot stand each other and thanks God they didn't kill each other when they met last time.
Guess what I choose to do... - what is comfortable for Me. And it brought peace to both parties.
I caught myself once, it actually creates more aggravation, if you follow their pass and become one of the ones who controlling you. And we, compulsive gamblers, are masters of control, any kind of control. Come to realize we cannot control crap...
If we set aside control urges, then life will be way simple and easier for us.
Love yourself, don't seek validation from others, even if it is your own parent; accept yourself with all your great qualities and you will be accepted.

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE PEOPLE I CANNOT CHANGE, COUARGE TO CHANGE THE ONE I CAN, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW IT IS ME.

It is a rephrased prayer on a GA yellow book cover and it works even for the ones who has different Higher Power believes.

Love you all, Vicky

II2live - I agree with what you're saying.

I used to go just for fun but in the past few years I have also definitely gone to escape the stressors in my life...when my husband would get drunk - again - or my kids would mess up - again - there I went AGAIN!

I also agree with what others are saying...that it's time for me to own up and change my behavior. Past time for that.

Oddly enough, the stronger I get in recovery, the more my husband's drinking doesn't bother me quite as much...I am finding ways to detach and that in turn seems to be helping him as well.

Hang in there...tis the season for dysfunctional families to get together!

Prsloan

True words! Thing is, the stress does not go away, we just learn better coping skills on how to deal more sensibly with the triggers. True sign that we are getting stronger. Happy Thanksgiving.........Peace and blessings to all.

Good Morning L and Hapoy Thanksgiving to all,

You have done amazing sole searching throughout your journey which has brought you to the place where you are today. We have watched you walk up and down the river's embankment, with courageous steadfastness, as you meticulously examined the best way to traverse through these currents.

You have placed both feet in the water, and have left the "shore" of your old ways; you've set sights on a new shore that awaits you across the river. Employ the same steadfastness, and remind yourself that no stone or rock can be heavy enough to drag you back down into the pool of this insidious addiction. No burden, no disappointment, no blow to pride or loss of human love is worth the price of return to the shore of your old ways, or worse yet, drowning in the waters of despair.

You have invested so much of yourself thus far to reach the new shore. I am certain you will strategically maneuver around the obstacles and swim safely to shore today. There's a warm campfire awaiting you....peace, tranquility and a big bag of marshmallows!

Be well, my friend and stay strong......it doesn't matter how you get there (doggy paddle if you please)....just say to yourself "I will get there". You, indeed, will!

Love Tagg

good vibes to you!!! You are taking control, way to go, Set up your strategy and go with it. It is true nobody makes us gamble, it is our own decision- you have made the decision NOT to gamble-I am so happy you are taking care of you!

I didn't want to make a separate post... Even with everything I understand, .....my kids are triggering me. I run out of words and energy trying to deliver.. Aaaaaaaah! I hope someone understands me. Sometimes I just want to run away.... God bless teenagers! I have two of them...
Frustrated Vicky.

Thank you all for the support. I am doing okay. Think I'm going to make it. It's been a very emotional couple of days. This is unfamiliar territory for me because I'm uncomfortable with emotions. I am learning and growing ;).

I don't really understand the conversation about triggers being excuses or all in ones minds. I love the discussion about it though. When I use trigger, I mean something that makes me want to gamble. So recognizing what triggers me and learning to plan ahead for those times is a big part of my recovery. I don't use the word trigger in the sense that means its my excuse for gambling. I'm not saying my family makes me gamble. I'm saying my family makes me WANT to gamble. Whether I gamble or not is all on me.