Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I do hope this helps someone. I have been in and out of GA since 2010.
I relapsed again and again and again until Jan 4 when I came home devastated by losing money for 3 days I could not afford to lose at the casino and I really really could see that I am a compulsive gambler and that I was powerless over this addiction. I could no longer DENY it,! When I got home I really looked at these 3 days and saw....
Day 1. the first day I went with the urge again and didn't care. "I knew it would be different" "I knew what I was doing" - I went and lost.
Day 2. I went again but this time I really didn't want to go and was FIGHTING the urge. I was chasing the money and I lost again.
Day 3 I went again not wanting to go but went again and after I lost the money I stayed for another 2 hours just watching other people play the slots
I asked myself : " What normal person would do that? What normal person would waste money that they knew they needed for normal living expenses? What normal person would stay and just watch other people play those machines? The answer was obvious. It had reached my heart.
I call this divine intervention because when I got home and really saw and accepted the FACT that I am a compulsive gambler and I CANNOT CURE IT nor control it. I looked at my phone and there was a message from a GA member who is a very strong person and who never texted me before asking me how I was doing. A quite voice said CALL HER NOW AND TELL HER EVERYTHING. which I did.
the next day, I went to a meeting and she was there and from that point on. I've been going to meetings and got into one on one counseling and group counseling and I am doing everything I can now to prevent relapse but the strange thing is, it isn't as hard now because I truly did the FIRST STEP from the heart, not intellectually. Up until Jan 4th I had never done step one due to DENIAL AND REFUSING TO ACCEPT the fact that I am a compulsive gambler.
These last 34 days have been true recovery and healing spiritually.
To me this addiction is a spiritual disease. It is so different when the DENIAL is no longer there. It is easier to connect with others.
Thanks for reading this. It is my success story to recovery
I relapsed again and again and again until Jan 4 when I came home devastated by losing money for 3 days I could not afford to lose at the casino and I really really could see that I am a compulsive gambler and that I was powerless over this addiction. I could no longer DENY it,! When I got home I really looked at these 3 days and saw....
Day 1. the first day I went with the urge again and didn't care. "I knew it would be different" "I knew what I was doing" - I went and lost.
Day 2. I went again but this time I really didn't want to go and was FIGHTING the urge. I was chasing the money and I lost again.
Day 3 I went again not wanting to go but went again and after I lost the money I stayed for another 2 hours just watching other people play the slots
I asked myself : " What normal person would do that? What normal person would waste money that they knew they needed for normal living expenses? What normal person would stay and just watch other people play those machines? The answer was obvious. It had reached my heart.
I call this divine intervention because when I got home and really saw and accepted the FACT that I am a compulsive gambler and I CANNOT CURE IT nor control it. I looked at my phone and there was a message from a GA member who is a very strong person and who never texted me before asking me how I was doing. A quite voice said CALL HER NOW AND TELL HER EVERYTHING. which I did.
the next day, I went to a meeting and she was there and from that point on. I've been going to meetings and got into one on one counseling and group counseling and I am doing everything I can now to prevent relapse but the strange thing is, it isn't as hard now because I truly did the FIRST STEP from the heart, not intellectually. Up until Jan 4th I had never done step one due to DENIAL AND REFUSING TO ACCEPT the fact that I am a compulsive gambler.
These last 34 days have been true recovery and healing spiritually.
To me this addiction is a spiritual disease. It is so different when the DENIAL is no longer there. It is easier to connect with others.
Thanks for reading this. It is my success story to recovery
I have always been a persons that has to stay busy, but could also relax. Gambling is not relaxing at all. At least it is not anymore. The last time I went, I pictured a camera tracking my eye movement as the wheel went round and round. . I thought, what a insane person I must look like.
(Are there people just looking at us, thinking the same thing?)
During your 3 day binge did money no long mean anything? I have felt that way. It is just money, only to realize after losing so much that it is not only money and I have to now figure how to live with out
it.
Here is to making those 34 days into 340 days!
Great post