I am sorry you are struggling so with this addiction. You don't have to wait until Saturday for GA meeting there are things you can do now. Can you enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to help you manage your money and essentially protect you from yourself. The first step is to put some blocks between you and your money to stem the bleeding. Have someone hold your debit/credit cards and checkbook for a while and carry little or no cash. There is a telephone AA meeting tomorrow night at 9 pm eastern time. You can search through past posts for Wednesday GA phone meeting or someone usually posts it again on Tuesdays or Wednesday morning. You can start educating yourself about this addiction and you can make a plan for what you will do differently next time you have an urge. You can check to see if your state funds any treatment for problem/compulsive gambling.
The disease has nothing to do with how much you care about your family or not. Gambling creates an over abundance of a chemical called dopamine in our brains and indeed overrides our impulse control. We are essentially drug addicts, addicted to a chemical our own body makes. The video slots were designed with the help of psychologists who helped to make the games as addictive as possible.
Gambling drove me into the ditch financially, emotionally, socially, mentally and spiritually. By the time I got help to quit I was bankrupt, isolated, suicidal and hopeless.
Today, 13+ months of abstinence later, I enjoy my life, it has become worth living and I have become worth the work to myself. It did not happen suddenly, it happened with determination, hard work and tiny steps, one day at a time.

qwit4good, thank you for your post. i need to hear stories from people like you in recovery...the funny thing is until just recently i did not think i had a problem since I only gamble a few times but i lose all my money every time, but now that I have really thought about it, I have a huge gambling problem...and like you my problems stem from childhood trama...i can remember playing cards as a kid and getting a "high" from it...when I went to the casino this last weekend it seemed like I was 'high" on something....

thank you for the words about family...i feel like i let them down, but I just need to remember I have a disease...

peace.

For you and anyone else that may be wondering if they are a compulsive gambler or not. Here is GA's 20 questions - I can answer yes to all 20 when I was in "action". I am grateful that I am not there any more. These 20 questions remind me of how bad it was.

Gamblers Anonymous (GA) Twenty Questions
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial
difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your lost dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use gambling money for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself and your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18. Do arguments, disappointment or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?
Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.