Holding onto any type of anger, resentment, disappointment is a deal breaker for my recovery. I found myself Friday night getting so upset with someone, although I care about this person, I have been pushed to my absolute boiling point, and Friday night, it came out. I realized, as the days passed, that although I had a slight urge to run, I didn't, nor did I have to fight the urge, it came, I realized it, and I let it go.

Now, with the resentment, and anger, I have such a hard time letting go of that, for me, its one of my biggest character defects. So rather than act on it, respond to it, ignore it, I have opted to just "let it be" for right now, and allow myself to process what happened.

Rather than try to fix it, quickly or react to it, (just like I would when I came home from a three day casino binge, I would try and fix it, quickly and pretend it didn't happen) I am just walking through it. I am not able to let it go, just yet, but my anger and resentment came from someone who had lied to me, and took advantage of me, so for me, its a little harder to shake. I know for my recovery I need to let it go, and in time, I will.

For now I am aware of my running from emotions, I'm aware of the choices I have and I am very aware of my recovery, which comes before anything else.

I have asked this person to leave my life, although I will always care about them, I just emotionally can't afford to be the monkey in the barrel, of drama, and chaos. For the first time, in a long time, I am putting myself and my recovery first.

Do the day my sweet warriors...