Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Day 86 in recovery.
4th of July weekend, just like most holidays, the 4th of July weekend would be my time to "get away" and for me, that meant sitting in a casino, playing cards for days at a time.
I recall one year, I was coming home the weekend of the 4th from being gone for a couple of days, I got stuck in traffic, there was a parade blocking my entrance to where I needed to go. I remember looking around at all the people, thinking, "so that's what its like to feel normal." I had to get to the high school, my daughter was performing for the parade with her color guard. I was hot, exhausted and freaking out. I finally go there, but once I got out of my car and went to the grass to sit with the rest of my family, I got physically ill. My body was crashing, days of not eating, drinking red bulls and no sleep, catching up with me. I may have physically been there, but emotionally, I was checked out.
I am not emotionally available, I am accountable, and this 4th of July, I am smiling. I'm here, for the first time in a long time, I'm actually, present.
Make it a good day my sweet warriors.
xoxoxox
4th of July weekend, just like most holidays, the 4th of July weekend would be my time to "get away" and for me, that meant sitting in a casino, playing cards for days at a time.
I recall one year, I was coming home the weekend of the 4th from being gone for a couple of days, I got stuck in traffic, there was a parade blocking my entrance to where I needed to go. I remember looking around at all the people, thinking, "so that's what its like to feel normal." I had to get to the high school, my daughter was performing for the parade with her color guard. I was hot, exhausted and freaking out. I finally go there, but once I got out of my car and went to the grass to sit with the rest of my family, I got physically ill. My body was crashing, days of not eating, drinking red bulls and no sleep, catching up with me. I may have physically been there, but emotionally, I was checked out.
I am not emotionally available, I am accountable, and this 4th of July, I am smiling. I'm here, for the first time in a long time, I'm actually, present.
Make it a good day my sweet warriors.
xoxoxox
so many these memories we carry but I am just glad we get to have another 4th of july! And because of our past it makes the occasion more special each time it comes!
Enjoy and savor every moment!
Love,
Victoria