Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hey guys,
How's everyone doing? Hope everyone is doing well. I just had an awful relapse. If you view my previous posts you will understand how much of a struggle this has been for me. Relapse after relapse but this week was terrible. Hit the online casino for some blackjack action, quickly lost, missed work the following day, recovered my losses only to lose it again and some. I think I'm down like $1300! OUCH! Now I'm finding myself hating myself as a result of this stupidity. I think I have figured out what has caused this relapse and will address it. I loved how I felt being gf. I was very productive, money was coming in not only from work but from little ventures I like to do such as selling old stuff around the house, stock trading. I had even lost track of my last significant bet, you know that bet that hurts and the pain stays with you for days even weeks. Looks like today this gonna be one of those days where it will stay with me for a few weeks. Any words of comfort and suggestions?
How's everyone doing? Hope everyone is doing well. I just had an awful relapse. If you view my previous posts you will understand how much of a struggle this has been for me. Relapse after relapse but this week was terrible. Hit the online casino for some blackjack action, quickly lost, missed work the following day, recovered my losses only to lose it again and some. I think I'm down like $1300! OUCH! Now I'm finding myself hating myself as a result of this stupidity. I think I have figured out what has caused this relapse and will address it. I loved how I felt being gf. I was very productive, money was coming in not only from work but from little ventures I like to do such as selling old stuff around the house, stock trading. I had even lost track of my last significant bet, you know that bet that hurts and the pain stays with you for days even weeks. Looks like today this gonna be one of those days where it will stay with me for a few weeks. Any words of comfort and suggestions?
Sorry to hear you've had a relapse. Don't hate yourself- you do have an addiction and it can be overcome, but by working hard on your recovery.
I get from your post that this isn't your first time back out, I think you might want to take a fresh and honest look at where you are and where you've been and where you want or need to be.
I wasn't able to track down any recent posts, but saw that "distancing" is your primary strategy in keeping away from gambling. Since you're doing online gambling, I'm not sure how that fits into your plan of action.
From my perspective, you probably should broaden your plans to get and stay GF- GA meetings sound like a good thing, spending some quality time here reading through the posts- particularly your older posts would be very good, too.
A relapse can be a learning experience, but you need to be listening to the lesson. The pain should always stay with you, when the pain subsides, temptation quickly follows.
Be well,
Jay
But here's the thing I keep at the forefront of my thought process...I hope I never have to relive/experience the pain and anguish of that last significant bet (April 15, 2012). More importantly, I do not want
to return to the character traits of that woman that lied to herself and loved one's near and dear to her heart.
I completely understand what you mean when you said "I loved how I felt being GF". Now is the time to contemplate whether you'd rather
have the letter "D" stay on the word "love" or begin anew. You can do that by saying "I LOVE that I am gamble free today". Tomorrow, the same thing! Each day that you bury that "d" deeper and deeper into the whole, the better you will feel about who you are....
Delight instead of Despair
Determination instead of Disgust
Decisions (good) instead of Desperational ones
You are the Determining factor of how the letter "D" will be used to move forward in your life.....
Vanna, I'd like the letter "D" and I'd like to solve the puzzle....
"Don't Give Up"!
Warm hugs and love,
Tagg