Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hi, my name is Jennifer. I have been lurking on this site for over a month and feel it has been helpful. However, this week I fell off the wagon and started gambling again. I had been gamble-free for a month and thought I was doing well. This week I went to the casino twice. The first time wasn't too bad but today I lost a good amount of money and felt that helpless feeling again. I went with my dad, who gambles quite a bit, and had to tell him I don't want him to ask me to go to the casino with him anymore. I feel like such a failure, as a mom, as a daughter, as a person. I am a very in-control person and hate the feeling that this compulsion has over me. I don't understand how I can be so frugal in all other areas of my life yet blow $400 at the casino in a matter of 2 or 3 hours. I just don't get it.
Coming to this site by just reading is somewhat helpful but lack of participation is taking away the strength of this support.
Welcome to DS.
"Lurker"...that's funny! lol It is a baffling addiction. There is no cure, but there is recovery. Gotta' stop gambling first, battle those urges to gamble and day by day recovery happens. It seems like lots of us say what you're saying..."I am a very in-control person", "frugal"...and for lots of us, after abstaining for short amts of time, going back out there and blowing more $$$$...
It was good you used your courage to tell your dad you don't want to go out gambling with him. I know how hard that would be for me. Jen...you are not a failure.
I just don't get it., either. This is a baffling addiction, it's mental. But I do get the fact that if I stop and gambling my life will be better. If I stop gambling I can begin to enjoy the things I use to do. If I stop gambling my finances will improve. I understand stuff like that. More importantly, since I stopped gambling, I have started down a road of serenity, faith and love. Sounds kinda' mushy, I know! Just kiddin' ... Good stuff, serentiy, peace of mind, trusting me! I'm learning to me honest with myself and to trust myself, and I love it! Keep coming back here...we need you, too. Not one of us here can to this alone. I don't know why, doesn't even matter anymore, but I can't recover on my own. I need to stay in contact with others like me. That's good :) I'm not alone. And you're not alone, either. Welcome Lurker, Welcome Jennifer
Even though you have only been lurking till now it is still a step in the right direction. Hang in there and if you need a friend a hug or a shoulder just send me a message.
I never did get that one!!!! Seriously, I do wish there was a cure, just like I wish there was a cure for any other life threatening disease. But so far, there is not. Today I'm happy there is hope. I can lead a "normal" life, if I don't gamble. "Normal" might now be the correct word, but I do know, that if I do gamble, I will not be able to live normally at all. My addiction was all consuming, I like my life better today. Not gambling works better for me. I feel like I'm rambling...sometimes I do that. Thanks for listening :)
Many times I went to the casino, and won a little, or lost just a little, and thought I had learned to "control" my gambling, just to go back soon and lose big, WAY out of control. I used to feed the 20's and 100's to the machine without a thought, just play money....the same money I wouldn't dream of blowing on some luxury for myself. This is a common thing for most if not all of us....
This is an addiction. At some point, I decided it was a waste of time to try to ask myself "why" because why isn't what matters when you are in the grip of the addiction. All that matters is to quit, to step out of the cycle....and as time passes, more and more becomes clear.
It was impossible for me to understand gambling while I was in it. When the monster has you, you first need to get away before you can pursue your analysis of the monster at leisure!
Telling your dad you can't go with him any more was a GREAT step. Expect the gamblers in your life to resist you quitting...mine sure have!
Wishing you great success in your recovery...
Welcome to the board and I wish you success in your quest to stop gambling and we are all here to support you every step of the way. Congrats on telling your dad not to ask you to do anymore and also for stepping into the light here!!!