This is a very dangerous time for me. I have somewhat recovered from my financial woes. I remember when I first began posting someone stated it right. We go through this process of gambling, losing, depression, worrying about where the money will come from to cover gambling debts, never gamble again, praying to God to give us strength to overcome this terrible demon and somehow we manage to cover most of the damages so that life returns to "normal". Then the thoughts that maybe $100.00 won"t hurt start again because life is now somewhat liveable right? Wrong!!!!!
I feel so strong right now. I took a video on my cellphone the day I went gambling, lost thousands of dollars, I was in my deepest despair. I was crying, sick and felt like such an emotional reck, this video is saved on my phone so I can watch it over and over again to remind me of how I felt. I don't ever want to forget those emotions again. I look at it when I get the urge to go gambling. It really takes me back to that day again. I am the only one that has my password so no one can see it but me. I plan on taking a video at least 1x a week to show my happy emotions not gambling. I intend on beating this demon. It has now been almost 2 wks G/F and I plan on staying this way.