Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I can hardly believe that it was in February I came clean with my husband as to my addiction. I did really well not going to the casino till it was my birthday. Win a jackpot and the ball started rolling again. The lie, the sneaking and the dept, just like that I let it jump on my back.
It has been 9 days since I have placed a bit. Today I went to the ATM machine and deposited my whole pay check. Yea! Weekends are easy, it is Monday that is my worst day.
At the first of my recovery I did not keep track of days, to do that I would have to start over if I failed. That seamed like the worst thing for me to do. Just yesterday I figured out I have a mental block I have put up to keep me safe. I don't remember the day my parents died. (mom's death sent me on my addiction) I don't remember the day I got married. (I know it has become a joke now.) I still hate Thursday, because my dad would come home drunk every Thursday and be violent.(when I was a kid) I block out time. I control my sadness, NEVER will anyone see me sad. I am admitting that after years of counseling at different time with different counselors I am still a mess. Believe it or not, it feels good to say it. (Weird)
Today I counted out on my fingers one at a time and decided I would share, I am 9 days Gambling free. That is almost two hands worth of fingers! I am going to keep track of days, because I am not going to anticipate failing.
It has been 9 days since I have placed a bit. Today I went to the ATM machine and deposited my whole pay check. Yea! Weekends are easy, it is Monday that is my worst day.
At the first of my recovery I did not keep track of days, to do that I would have to start over if I failed. That seamed like the worst thing for me to do. Just yesterday I figured out I have a mental block I have put up to keep me safe. I don't remember the day my parents died. (mom's death sent me on my addiction) I don't remember the day I got married. (I know it has become a joke now.) I still hate Thursday, because my dad would come home drunk every Thursday and be violent.(when I was a kid) I block out time. I control my sadness, NEVER will anyone see me sad. I am admitting that after years of counseling at different time with different counselors I am still a mess. Believe it or not, it feels good to say it. (Weird)
Today I counted out on my fingers one at a time and decided I would share, I am 9 days Gambling free. That is almost two hands worth of fingers! I am going to keep track of days, because I am not going to anticipate failing.
I too had to work with my therapist on my feelings about abusive childhood, addicted parents and abusive relationships and then self-abuse.
I found a lot of help in a book called Rescuing the Inner Child by Penny Parks that I worked the exercises and discussed it with my counselor for about 3 months.
I am learning to be the loving, kind, nurturing, protective and firm parent to myself that I never had, one day at a time, doing just the next right thing.
Acceptance is knowing in our heart that there is absolutely nothing we can do to change the past.
Prayers and hugs, congratulations on 9 days you will need all your fingers tomorrow.
That is a good way to look at day one. I was looking at day one as, "Why can't I just do this."
Oh yes, Monday I will use both hands. LOL.