Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hi everyone, I'm a newbie here and a total mess! I really want to give up the gambling but apparently don't have the willpower to do it. A little bit of my story, which is so similar to everyone elses, is as follows: Been gambling for the past six years. Prior to that would go maybe once a year and spend only $20 and hated losing even that. For the last year it's been pretty bad. This last week for example, I started with $300, had it up to $1,000 and ended up spending every last cent and then hit the cash machine on top of that for another $260 and lost it too. Went back yesterday with $100, had it up to $400, spent it and hit the cash machine for $400 and lost that too. WTF is wrong with me? I'm the type of person who gets so excited to save a buck off toothpaste or groceries, but when I'm playing the slots, it's like it's not money. This is just plain sick! Our account is overdrawn, my car payment is late and won't be able to be paid until I get paid at the end of the month (if it's not repo'd by then). I could have had $1,000 extra between those two days and totally made up my past due car payments and not had an overdrawn checking account. I seriously don't get it! I fought with myself about going yesterday. I even turned around and started to drive back home, but then turned around again after a couple blocks and headed back to the casino knowing I could win. And I did win but I put it back in the machines. My husband doesn't gamble, he hates it. He has no idea what I've done. He suspects I lose more than I tell him, but he hasn't actually confronted me with it and I certainly can't tell him. He thinks I should just quit. Well I would if I could. People who don't have this addiction just do not understand that it's not that easy! I need to clean this mess up before I lose him and everything else important in my life. Thanks for listening.
I was diagnosed as a pathological gambler by my psychiatrist. According to DSM-IV, Pathological gambling is now defined as separate from a manic episode. Only when the gambling occurs independent of other impulsive, mood, or thought disorders is it considered its own diagnosis. In order to be diagnosed, an individual must have at least five of the following symptoms:
1. Preoccupation. The subject has frequent thoughts about gambling experiences, whether past, future, or fantasy.
2. Tolerance. As with drug tolerance, the subject requires larger or more frequent wagers to experience the same "rush".
3. Withdrawal. Restlessness or irritability associated with attempts to cease or reduce gambling.
4. Escape. The subject gambles to improve mood or escape problems.
5. Chasing. The subject tries to win back gambling losses with more gambling.
6. Lying. The subject tries to hide the extent of his or her gambling by lying to family, friends, or therapists.
7. Loss of control. The person has unsuccessfully attempted to reduce gambling.
8. Illegal acts. The person has broken the law in order to obtain gambling money or recover gambling losses. This may include acts of theft, embezzlement, fraud, or forgery.
9. Risked significant relationship. The person gambles despite risking or losing a relationship, job, or other significant opportunity.
10. Bailout. The person turns to family, friends, or another third party for financial assistance as a result of gambling.
I can tell you first hand that #1-7 apply to me. The "rush" I used to get no longer could be off of $20 like when I started. Instead, my addiction grew, like yours, over a 6 year period. I was also using the ATMs until the max for the day was reached ($500), then I would turn to the credit card and get a $500 cash advance. Sometimes, I would go up to 3 times to get a cash advance in one day. It is sickening the amount of money I lost trying to feel better.
After relapsing more times than I can count, I finally went in to sign up for self exclusion. That is my only guarantee that I cannot go back into that casino. If I want to gamble now, I will have to drive over an hour to get there.
We are all here for you. Please read everything you can about this. You are not alone and you have come to a great place for understanding and support.
Gentle hugs, Sunnie
Good luck to you. Take a breath in. Let it out. Oh, something that helped me from the first book, is the realization that the slots are programmed to 'play you till extinction'.
You may find it fascinating to read up on stuff like how the casinos lure us there and make us stay, there's actually a lot of science behind it. Google 'casino psychology' and you should be off to a good start.
The other thing you may be interested in is reading up on the human mind and the way gambling works on it. The rush we get actually contributes to the losses we end up with - the effect of losing $1000 is actually greater than the equivalent effect of winning $1,000, so in a way, it's almost as if we're seeking losses, not being satisfied until we've cleaned out our wallets.
Why should you read all this? Because it's a step towards giving you a perspective above and beyond the 'ordinary' gamblers themselves. Think of it as being out of the rat race if you will.