okay first...STOP USING THE DEBT COMPANY...THEY ARE A RIP OFF. Second, write to all of the collection agencies and tell them that per the Fair Debt Collection Act you are asking that they only contact you via US mail. Third to stall them...when they contact you, request that they validate the debt to you. Ask that they provide you proof they are able to collect the debt, proof of who the original creditor is, proof that you signed a contract agreeing to repay the debt, a complete payment history on the original debt, and an explanation on the amount they say you owe. They have to provide this to you, per federal law. When they contact you they have to send you a letter of verification of debt within 5 days of contacting you. You then have 30 DAYS to respond and ask them to provide you validation of debt...requesting all those items i listed above. If they can provide you with that...then they can kick rocks. For the others, it will give you some time and provide peace/quiet to your family/friends. Concentrate on getting better, not gambling for now...collection agencies usually bark worse than they bite...research and know your rights when it comes to them.

oops meant to say if they CAN'T provide you with those things, they can kick rocks :)

Robin - Some great advice.. Thank you for the detailed information. I am going to draft letters today and fax them over to the collection agencies. I understand that I owe money but these people are horrible.

Also first, stop gambling. Use every tool available.This site, GA, self banning, carry no cash, or debit cards etc. Come clean to your family. Life is not meant to be mired in an addiction, hard work but doable to overcome gambling.Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? You can do this, you are worth it.

Thank goodness you are back candcand,
I was worried about you.
I could feel the pain.

here is my take and completely sincere opinion, we all have one and I am totally for you and your recovery from this HELL.

."I don't know how I got myself into this mess."
yes you do you gambled and why is the question and it could be to escape lifes problems which only get worse and worse with gambling. It FEELS like you don't know because you feel out of control and you are - right now. It can be changed.

" I have pushed eveyone away. " push them back they are probably waiting for you to want to change. Tell them you are and use their love and support and GA and here to start to feel loved and wanted and needed and not broken, which you are not. You are like us with a disease that had compulsion and obsession at its core and you can only stop it with support and work. Isolation is the key to keeping gambling. The secretive and shamefulness and guiltyness of gambling feeds it like putting MIRACLE GROW on it. You must get back to being IN society. right here is a start.

"Something is very wrong with me. I am alone all of the time and the only time I feel alive at all..........
again, you are not unique, read the posts here, my dear, we are all alike yet different in our stories and all need each other to support and understand each other which helps us grow to recovery.
Read and learn the tools to use for your own personal recovery program. Yeah, I felt alive when gambling, hello, dopamine is surging through your brain and telling you more more more. Just like a drug it is saying give me till I can't take it anymore. You can only stop this insanity by abstaining. Even the word is yucky to you right now, living without gambling.
How in the f - - - do I do that ????
well, you can and will and live again, a REAL life like you can't remember because you have a progressive (which means it can get worse and KILLL you) disease. Give it a few days and a week and all of a sudden you will start to think like a human again and feel like you haven't in a long time. Our bodies are remarkable in that they can adjust to good clean living pretty fast. You will start to get the glimpses of fun and enjoyment again and that will spur you onto recovery.
YOU must seek out others,
again,
a gamlber alone is in the worst of company.
stop being alone.
quit isolating yourself.
go to the library and strike up a conversation with anyone.
the laundromat, just smile at someone and watch them respond and remember what human contact was like.
I thougth the c - - - - - was my home, my friends, my family and all.
I was a huge tipper and when I stopped tipping as the money started running out I found out just what they thought of me.
so much money later and I knew what I was to them.
Used and tired and sick and my mind shot I had to accept that I had made very bad choices indeed and had been avoiding feeling some pain that was then in my life which was NOTHING compared to what the freakin' gambling has now DUMPED on me like a ton of bricks.
S - - - that I will have to live with for the rest of my life but I refuse to let it get any worse.
No freaking way.
You are young, about 15 years younger than me.
I wish I had your chance to change this and now.
Please take the rest of your wonderful life and family and friends and here and lean on us for the love and support you need to accomplish this goal.
I know you can do it.
You are strong and that is why you are here and how you've made it this far.
we want you here with us, PLEASE.

Wow, Newway... I truly appreciate your honest feedback. It is clear that I have come to the right place. I am definitely in good company here. I really hear what you are saying. You clearly "get" what is going on in my head and I am grateful for that. I plan on checking in at least once a day. It's only been a couple of days but being here is making me feel less alone. Thank you for your support.

your most completely and sincerely and totally and compassionately and recoveringly welcome.
We need you here and want you to be with us in our new lives.
Find a GA meeting yet ??
They are cool too.

I've looked up the meetings about a hundred times but I haven't been able to actually go to one yet.

honest candcand,
the GA is non negotiable.
you must have the human contact and face to face
see, feel, touch the recovery the hope the faith the renewed energy.
Please seek one out call them and ask for a ride get there
very very soon.
Then read the books, study it like a new addiction
and keep coming here.
Make this happen
enough is enough
you sound like a precious young (sorry, I'm feeling old BD lately) person and I can't stand to see you continue. We were not put on this earth to suffer like this.
no way.

I can't add too much to the posts already here. Absolutely, first and foremost- Stop Gambling. Second- it seems like your from Rockland County. Here's a link to a list near Nyack-
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations/zip/table/0/na/na/na/10960/10?#gmap-nodemap-gmap0 There is a meeting tonight and I'm sure you will find support and a way to find some relief from your stress by meeting people that can relate to you. Incidentally, closed meeting means only compulsive gamblers, it doesn't mean it's full or something like that (there's been confusion on that point in the past).
Third, it would be a good idea to follow the steps to get a little breathing room from your creditors as suggested.
Hang in there- we've all been through this at one time or another, to one degree or another and I know it seems hopeless, but there is hope!
Jay

Just to echo Jay. There is hope and always will be hope, but first we have to stop gambling. Everything else will work itself out from that point onwards, even if the situations seem dire.

I have been there and obviously just went through torment from this past Friday. Enough is enough - the only way it will get better for all is to stop.
I truly believe that the more time away the more our head can clear, I have done it before and can do it again.
I think we all can.
I think I took the first step by coming back and expressing myself in this forum, it actually made me feel human again.
I cried this weekend because I couldn't hold it in any more, I cried because I knew it would help release some of the pain and it really did.
I don't pity myself or ask for pity, I just need to be heard that this disease/addiction got the best part of me and it's admitting it. The hold is so powerful, however I have to remind myself that I deserve more and better and we all do.
Losing all our hard earned money and sleeping in the car because we can barely keep our eyes open after a long and dreadful night at the casino is no way to LIVE. It's not living it's dying , and our lives are too precious. We have to remember that. I wish nothing more than strength to all of us to fight off this dreadful addiction/disease. We can do it!!