Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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ibelieveican 06/02/2015

I am sooooooo very mad at myself! I had gone 30 days clean! And tonight I have spent more than I have in a long long long time in my world. I spend or lost 300 to me that is the world. I have already transferr funds to cover my checking. So bummed at myself. I had been doing so well. I have been thankful for this site getting me to the 30 day mark. Today, well.....a little alcohol is my weakness. Then of course all the boundaries come down. I am sorry, I am mad, I am yes ashamed as all of us are....why on earth we do this to ourselves I will never know. I will start at day one again tomorrow and hope that I can make it past 30 this time. I have watched videos on re-wiring the brain, I am so in tune with my body...ran 6.5 miles today! I will run a half marathon this weekend. I have no extra money to lose or not have.... I do not do it to gain! it is an escape. But,....not sure what from! Normally, if you knew me I am 96% a happy person...I really like who I am! I have this issue, does not define me....however I do not like it, and I can not lick it.....Help me please! Thank you! I am not personal a fan of GA.....I am a fan of this site and it has helped me tremendously. I just need encouragement please and a reminder I am a good person! I just have an addiction/ an issue I can not get past!

Thank You
Lisa

LouLouD 06/02/2015

Sounds like we had the same night.. I walked into the casino with $100. I put $20 in the first machine I see and I hit the progressive right away $2500. This $2500 would've cleared up ALOT of my debt. But from there I continued to play.. At one point I had $7000 in my purse. Even though I knew how much this helped and dreamed of this happening and knowing it doesn't happen often.. I gave it ALL back to the casino. I'm sooo embarrassed!!! The way the casino employees would look at me I knew they knew I have a problem. The one lady came up to me twice telling me to take my money and go home.. The third time she tried to have a tall with me. I'm humiliated. I have a big problem. I don't even know where to start. 30 days is a long time! I think you're on the right path, you just hit a bump in the road. You got this!

marieh2 06/02/2015

First, No beating yourself up today. Wipe yesterday out of your head. I know it is so hard, but don't focus on the getting to the next 31 days, just do today. To tell the truth I don't count the days, for me it has no effect on me to mark off the calendar, what helps me is the fact that I have money (or money I give to my husband, because I don't trust myself to carry any.) Can you give your money to someone you trust?

How less stressed did you feel not going to the casino? Get THAT feeling back, not the amount of days you don't walk in a casino. One day of no stress of moving money around of having to lie, and of melt downs can turn into many days of calm.

Praying for you today.

Qwit4Good 06/02/2015

You have not lost the experience of the 30 days of abstinence. Use this relapse as a learning experience. What could you have/can you do next time different that might help?
I personally for the last nearly seven months carry only up to $19 cash. (I learned that having $20 or more was a trigger.) If you know you want to drink a little, how about doing it in places where you can't gamble. Maybe get rid of your debit and or credit card(s). Or don't take credit/debit cards or your checkbook with you when you go to drink. You will only have the cash you withdrew on a weekday in person at your bank.
I am not a personal fan of GA either, but I go to a counselor, and I have a face to face support group of other problem and compulsive gambler women. ( I think same sex support groups are more effective.)
Many day ones, hard internal work and many lifestyle changes have brought me 6 months of abstinence.
Part of why it is so hard to begin with is that we are still addicted to dopamine that gambling floods our brains with and makes more receptors for. It takes 90 to 120 days of abstinence for those levels to normalize.
You are doing better than many, count your blessings and do something nice for yourself for not gambling today. (suggestions: A bubble bath, a pedicure, take time to relax, finger paint, go wildflower hunting, color in a coloring book.)

ibelieveican 06/02/2015

Thank you thank you thank you all! This site has helped tremendously. Yes, that day after which is today is horrible isn't it. But, you are all right it is over. Once again, I start day one. I thought maybe as we all know....maybe if I only spent 20 or 100 and then I am done. I have realized today, that will never ever happen. I CAN NOT DO ANY....nor will I get any better that I will be able to try it again. I have this addiction and I must stay away completely and always.

I must have a plan, thank you for all of your ideas. I right now am too ashamed to tell the friends that I had been working with that I hit a speed bump! Not a pot hole, I must remind my self!

I feel different this DAY ONE, a little stronger than I have really. I have a more definite understanding that I can not do this, it will not have a good outcome.

You are right I can not hope that in the future I do not do this, all I can concentrate is a day at a time. I must also remember the past is over done and gone, and I can not change that as well.

Thank you all, you inspire me. It is so nice to chat with those who are really trying, who understand, are non judgmental and remind us to keep our head up YES, WE CAN DO THIS!

Thank you all again, I have thought about your words all day! They have meant the world

A new friend
Lisa

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