good decision greenbayfan1......we cannot beat this addiction alone.

keep coming back.

I was in the same place. I even won a jack pot only to give every bit of it back. in a few hours. I could not help it. Two Fridays ago was rock bottom for me. Even though my husband knew I went to the casino he had no idea how bad it had gotten. Credit card dept mounting. I came home on that Friday, completly worn out and full of self hate. I called him and work and told him we had to talk. That scared him. I made full confession. The next week closd out all my bank account and turned over all money I make to him. I told him this made me mad, because my whole life I have been so responsible with money, now I am reduced to a little kid. I did it to myself and no use complaining about it.
I found this site two weeks ago and check in all day to see what people write. Now I say out loud, "I have to see what my friends are up to." because the people on this site are the ones I can relate to.

I also watch Youtube videos about gambling and what happens to the brain. ----side note, I have a degree in Substance Abbuse. Geee how crazy is that?

After crying and saying I am sorry for a week, I told my husband that I was not going to say sorrry anymore. I screwed up and now it was time to get busy fixing it. I can not hate myself anymore, because it was just making things worse. I have to find the happy me again.

Find the reason to live out side the casino, there is no Love there only distruction.

I

I have done what you describe so many times that I cannot count. No matter how many times I talked to myself about NOT gambling that way, I always did. Makes me feel even more of an idiot for continuing to go when I knew deep down I wasn't going to leave there until I hit the hurt level. It's mind blowing. I would go in excited to win this battle with myself that I always lost. Talk about frustrating. Then I'd panic, dig a deeper hole chasing those losses. What a complete waste of time and money. I still will have to fight this each day for the rest of my life. Right now, my gloves are on and my fists are raised. Don't beat yourself up about the past. Focus on today.

I could have written exactly what you posted. So familiar. So all encompassing. So ... pointless. I thank you for writing what you did - as it reinforces those things that I already know (in my head) re: so called "Winning" ... I "Win" often too. That is, until I give it all back.

I too am seeing a gambling counselor. I used to see one and that one on one interaction was the best therapy I ever had. While I had been seeing that counselor, I stopped gambling. And felt really good about it. Then, I stopped seeing her and went back.

So, my experience is: a counselor can do you a world of good. Best to you !

I do not know about your state, but a few with lotteries and casinos have set aside money for problem gambling treatment. In Oregon, where I am it is free. (Paid for out of state lottery monies.)
But is a national hot line that should be able to point you to what's available in your state: 1-800-522-4700 They also have a website, it is the national council on problem gambling:
http://www.ncpgambling.org/help-treatment/national-helpline-1-800-522-4700/
Keep coming back and try to remember the look on your spouse's face. It is critical to get some abstinence built up. Your brain will start to function better in two or three months.

Hi there! I'm a gambler with 5 years of experience. I started with a harmless free online slots games, such as on http://kingcashslots.com/, then moved on to roulette and blackjack. Now I'm dependent on gambling, playing 2-3 times a week using my credit card. I do not know what to do in a situation like this, help me.