Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Leapyear22 04/27/2014

Last night I had a horrible nightmare, I was in a casino, and I gambled, until all was gone, and I remember screaming, NOOOO, I was at home, I think, and in the dream I had a complete breakdown, I kept flashing on the casino, it was awful, it was a one of those dreams that I wanted to wake up from, but couldn't. I haven't been able to shake it, it feels like I went, but I didn't, all the guilt I have for what I did is with me today, the feeling of remorse, and disgust is with me today, as though I went last night, but I didn't, today is day 19 and I'm struggling financially. I will be okay, financially, although it will be a lot of work. Emotionally I am afraid, I'm not doing okay today, but trying to shake it. I can honestly say, I hate gambling, I wish I never started in the on line poker room, I hate the hold it has on me, the damage it has caused emotionally and financially. Its a disgusting, terrible addiction. Today I will stay GF, and I pray, I have sweeter dreams. xoxoxoxox

jayd03 04/27/2014

Don't get shaken- it is only a dream and they happen. In fact they may happen periodically for quite a long time. A few weeks ago someone at a GA meeting with 44 years in the program said he had one. The fact of the matter is that gambling became a huge part of our lives and it is akin to a loss when you give it up. I know I still have dreams with loved ones lost and it, too, seems very, very real. Take solace in the fact that it was only a dream and, perhaps, your mind reminding you to stay the course.
Hang in there,
Jay

Leapyear22 04/27/2014

Thanks Jay, it did shake me, but I think it was God's way of reminding me of why I don't want to gamble, a friendly nudge. I too have lost loved ones that come to me in my dreams, but those dreams I cherish, this one last night, was awful, but you're right, it was a huge part of my life, and letting go, isn't easy, but I'm doing it.

thenewway 04/28/2014

Dear Leapyear22,

yes only a dream about a nightmarish life.
maybe your need to label it as what it is ...........a nightmare.

You are free of it now,
and as the "clean time" goes on you will begin to get stronger
and more involved with living again and that will inch out the
bad thoughts and nightmares of gambling.
Give it time
and keep coming and staying gamble free.
It only get better and better.
I am sure that you can realize that already,
each time we go back we just start the process all over again.

Let your mind and body feel the revulsion and the sickening thoughts of gambling and remember that when you are tempted.

So so happy you are here with us all.
Together we make this happen.

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