Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I owe my father money and now he won't talk to me. I know that it is because he knows that I have relapsed. I am not going to bother calling him because he will simply tell me how much of a disappointment that I am. Each day of my life is nonstop misery. I think about how I will go to gamble on the weekends and will be in control and how everything will be fixed. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. In the end, I always lose. Then, I have thoughts of killing myself although I don't actually want to kill myself. I just hate myself and want my life to be fixed. My credit is in the 500s. I am afraid of my landlord not renewing my lease. I have no money saved for the summer and I can't afford to live. I owe over $5000 in taxes and owe thousands upon thousands of dollars. and I can't pay it. I can't even pay for the Turbotax. My checking account is overdrawn on a weekly basis. My entire life is a secret. I have gained at least 30 pounds in the past year and I look in the mirror and want to throw up. I have no friends anymore because I pushed them all away. I speak to no one. I just hang out with my cat. I don't know what I am going to do. I am so screwed. I just won over $1200 and it's all gone. I lost it in milliseconds. I am just at a loss. I am so screwed up and feel so alone and overwhelmed. I can't function anymore. I don't want to gamble anymore but I literally have no money left. I am going to drive home and scream to myself in the car the entire time. It all just happened so fast. I have never hated myself as much as I do right now. I can't even afford to fill up my gas tank. I have no idea how I will function this week. I am completely screwed. and at rockbottom. I can't function anymore. How could I let it get this bad?
You are not losing your mind,
you are ADDICTED
and in the "clutches" of your disease/illness.
You must make the effort to come here and GA
and seek the support to get clear of this.
You want to and no wonder as the pain is
almost unbearable.
I was right where you are today just a couple of
months ago.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel and
you are looking at it right here and GA.
I am sorry about your father, he may not understand as
he is not an addict.
He will one day, right now focus on YOU and
what you need to do to get this remorse, guilt, shame
and regret out of your life.
A person can only stand so much pain and this
addiction brings the most horrific pain and suffering.
You need to put forth the effort you give to going to the
c - - - - - into coming here and getting help (read...STOP
gambling).
Sometimes you have to get so broke and so desperate before
you can slow down and without the money.......
BE ABLE TO STOP.
Take the time to access the damage and do the work
to never go back.
Make a truly personal and heartfelt COMMITTMENT to
not gamble for today and then tomorrow and just
let your brain and body see what that feels like.
See how much you like it.
See and feel how you used to feel before addiction.
You can do this
and it will be a lot easier than what you
have been doing which is GAMBLING COMPULSIVELY.
I promise you.
Keep in touch
everyday
right here.
PLEASE !!!!!!!!
candcand,
REMEMBER that isolation and secrets
feed this addiction.
You must fill the void of NOT gambling
with new activities and make the MONEY NOT NO WAY EVER
AVAILABLE.
Can you do that??
Yes, you have.
We compulsive gamblers never get control of this,
it doesn't work for us,
but who does it work for??
no one wins over the long haul,
surely, you realize that as time passes the more
we gamble the more we lose.
Most anyone, that's the name of the game.
Keep you coming back and getting into your pocket
more and more.
Look around the c - - - - - and see the "pissed" off
people who are losing.
Did they come to win?? Did they win??
Is the c - - - - - built on giving money away
each and every day to everyone.
The odds are STACKED in their favor
always have been always will be.
Many with way more intelligence than we have
tried to beat the house, and didn't and we
have an addiction. Double Whammy,
and double the losses probably for us.
Keep here.
Keep strong.
This is where you will WIN !!!
we have been where you are. There is no judgement here only compassion. Please stay close to us here and begin your healing. With DS and GA you can do this. You can lift your life back up from where it is one step at a time.
The good news is that many have overcome a gambling addiction. the first step is NO MORE. I finally got tired of going a week or more with no money, owed everybody, stomach growling, and too ashamed to say anything. keep posting, let us know how you are doing. you have not done anything many other compulsive gamblers haven't done. please stop beating yourself up.
we've been there too.
It is not even about the money it is just
some other reason why playing with
our addictive nature to use the gambling
to "DEAL WITH or FORGET ABOUT the problem and the feelings.
Then the problems just excalate and excalate.........
See where it is progressive and a vicious circle ??
The way to stop it is to get enough and slow down
and not gamble for long enough to just let yourself
feel that the pain and struggle do not have to be there.
It can be dealt with and felt and lived with as it is
and without gambling,
which only exacerbated and made it feel worse.
keep with us and
we are all in this together.
NO NO NO need to be nervous,
are you nervous with us here ??
NO.
I think not.
They are just like us and you get to meet
":them" and have conversations and feel
the compassion, empathy and understanding
up front and personal like.
You will find just as much inspiration there as here
and probably someone to mentor you and
it will be a real eye-opener at how much you
gain there towards recovery.
I am so very proud of you for being so open
and honest and allowing me/us to be a part
of your recovery.
YOU are helping me as well.
thank you so so much.
Anyway, Candcand, you are not alone...we're here for you. Please, please, please do not give up hope. There's always hope no matter how dire a situation may seem.
Maybe you want to take Cherbear's advice and try an inpatient recovery program. It might prove to your father that you are taking your recovery seriously. Would he be able to handle your finances for right now too? Honesty is the best policy and you can't gamble if you don't have any money. Make it easy for yourself the first month or two of your quit. That's what I did.
I think you really want to quit. You wouldn't be posting here if you didn't, right? The important thing is here that you realize you have a problem. Now, you need to gather tools that you can utilize in your abstinence from gambling. Folks on here have already given you good advice and support. Please re-read previous post message for a list of tools and resources available to you and start trying them. Recovery is work but it is SO worth it. It's a lot better than the alternative.
Please let us know how you are doing. We care about you.
Your friend in recovery,
Cathy
Please do keep coming back. We have all felt your desperation to one degree or another - that is what brings us back here - to gather the strength to stop giving our money away!!! Because we are learning, it is the only way - we can't lose if we don't gamble!
take your father with you to GA and let him see and begin to understand.
way cool.
cherbear and nomoreonetimers,
how great to do inpatient and have your father recognize the work and the seriousness of this addcition.
candcand,
please take the most wonderful advice you can get from here and just run with it to the life that you want as you realize that it isn't YOU,
you keep asking how can I ............how did I................
it is the addiction and not you
you have an illness just like us all, an addiction is bigger
than us and takes faith and acceptance to heal.
Coming here
you are starting to heal and see and on the right path.
Way to go.
Keep coming.