Hey there nmohan007. I wanted to touch base with you before the night ended. I don't have all the answers, but there are some very wise people that post on here and that have been thought a lot and can and are willing to help.

This was the first place I came to when I admitted I had a problem.

You are not alone. Many of us felt and sometimes still do feel awful. I have blown it a few time, but I am still trying and following the advice I get on here.

Stick around and learn. Read some past post.
There is hope.

Hello and welcome!
I want to quit forever too. However, the only way I can do that is ... One day at a time.

The money is gone, I will never get it back and the sooner I accept that fact I truly believe I can begin to heal.

There are many good Folks here with a lot experience to share that has helped me.

Abstinence from the casino is my hope for myself today ....

In the beginning I did not think I could stop. I tried on my own several times and tried treatment/counseling and GA several times. My on and off gambling spanned over 20 years and was mostly on.
The last time I sought help I had hit a very low rock bottom, I not only lost in 18 months most of my salary but committed criminal mistreatment by gambling with other people's money who trusted me to help them. I was low enough to gamble rent, food, and even money for my dog's medicine. I was fully entranced, at the height of my last binge I operated in a kind of daze, sometimes called a "brown out". I had no idea how many times I had gone to the ATM or how much I had lost until I checked my bank the next day. The hell was in the constant urge to continue playing seemingly even when I didn't want to. I was bankrupt financially, emotionally, morally, mentally, spiritually and socially. Add suicidal and you see I was a scared, self-loathing and isolated basket case.
There are many routes to abstinence and it is different for everyone. The first steps which many of us have done and/or still do is to put some barriers between ourselves and our money. (Find a way to stem the bleeding.) I have used a professional payee in the past and I have enlisted a trusted friend to hold my debit/credit cards and checkbook. Some banks will allow people to lower limits of cash withdrawal daily limits. I know someone who put her debit/credit cards and checkbook in her safety deposit box- she would have to go to the bank during banking hours to get a check or two at a time. Some folks use prepaid credit cards. However you do it, finding a way that will give you a little more time to intervene in your thoughts to gamble can help.
Getting some time without gambling helps. GA, counseling, therapy, artwork, meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, prayer can all be helpful. Learning all you can about this addiction can help. Being open minded and willing to make a whole-hearted effort to employ anything and everything that may help on a daily basis is essential. Finding what will work for you is your mission. Be willing to work hard like you fighting for your life, because you are.

Thank you for all the replies. Marie,HappyCamper,Qwit4good.

That's really encouraging.

Sure. I will follow one of these suggestions.. and update how it goes.

Thanks,
Mohan

Welcome to the site Mohan. The $ you lost from gambling in the past is gone. Choose to not gamble again and not risk losing anymore $. Life is better without gambling. This is a great site and the replies before me all gave great advice and ideas. 1 day at a time. It will get easier.

Thanks Frank..

It was really to go thorough today. But i won't give up.

Yes.. i know its gonna be tough for few days/few months. but i will never spend a $ anymore.

It will get better. I'm over 3 weeks clean now. 1st week was rough. So many more positives in my life now that I'm away from it. Life can be better for you as well. Can do so much more with your time.

Day 5 . Going well .

Glad to hear it. You might want to prepare yourself as best you can for the next possible trigger(s). Think about it now while not triggered and plan what you will do different. (Other than gamble.)

Hopefully you know about HALT? It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. It is a tool long used by most 12 step programs. These are the most universal triggers. It helps when I have a thought to gamble or an urge to ask myself am I Hungry, angry, lonely or tired? And if yes to any of them, tend to it, eat, deep breathe or walk, call a friend, rest. I have to add Bored, in the mood to celebrate. and paydays as well. Making a plan or program ahead of time will help to deal with the trigger when it really occurs, like a fire drill.

Congratulations on FIVE days! Keep up the good work!

I totally agree with quit4goods advice on putting barriers between you and your money. I'm getting prepaid visa cards because you can't get cash with it. I do it first thing when I get money or get a Money order to pay bills. Its spent and there is no way you can get cash. I leave about $30 in my bank. Hope this helps.