Hi crews007,
Keep going. I know how terrible it feels to disappoint your son, but he see's you're trying to change your life for the better, that's a good example of never giving up. On the other hand, I believe you have to do this for yourself. Change is a beautiful option in life. Never, ever give up on yourself.
Thanks for sharing with us. Today we will not gamble.

Thank you for your kind words Robin x

ugh...i feel for ya, good news is that its bottom ......its over and you will forge ahead and get your life back on track..

Use this slip as a way to tighten up your relapse prevention plan. Obviously you have a weakness in the gambling blocking software or in blocking your access to money or access to physical casinos. What can you do different? Analyze where it can be better. Make changes to tighten up the plan to do something besides gamble, to give yourself creative outlet, give yourself permission to have a better fuller life. You must leave your inner gambler no choices to open that door to gambling, Work on giving yourself something else to do when you have an urge - knit, whittle, volunteer, color, whatever it takes. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Don't give up, trying again is the only way you will eventually succeed.

Hi, your problems have been tracking mine. I noticed that you mentioned that you were in a "good place financially." Just before this slip up or at some point earlier? I saw your prior posts were similarly phrased.

Here's what I've come to learn over the past 3 months - rock bottom is when you realize it's over. You are no longer in the the financial condition to continue. It's no longer about losses, it's about gambling. My last binge was it for me. I chased and chased and chased. My frustration was with the near misses. Then I hit. A 5 team parlay for $15,000. I was on my way back. 2 hours later it was gone. And the debt was still there. And I realized that I could never win. Because even when I won, I would wager the winnings until I lost. And that was it for me. Then I assessed the debt and realized that I could never win $75,000 to pay it back. And any winning less, would lead to me chasing the $75,000 and going further in debt. To $100,000 to $125,000, to... God knows where this was headed. Until you're sick of gambling, you won't stop. I'm sick of gambling. I'm focused on rebuilding, I'm going to dig out of this debt end then keep going. But I found my rock bottom with my last binge. Over three weeks now and I am, and will continue to be, gambling free.

Keep quitting until it sticks crew007, the alternative to not quitting is to continue the same old cycle and insanity.
crooked zebra; so glad you are over three weeks clean, congrats on that. In the future though, please leave out blow by blow descriptions of gambling and specific amounts of wins and/or losses, it triggers some of us and is not necessary to get your point across.

This addiction is never about how much we won or lost, or how far we fell, because we used how ever much it took to get us here. When I gambled again, after my first quit, I thought I was done, zero hope. I thought I was getting what I deserved for gambling again, and again, and again. I was disappointed in mysel that I couldn't even get recovery right, I felt so worthless. That was back then, this is now... I understand recovery isn't graded like a test, only rewarded in the form of gaining self respect. We will never be perfect at recovery, because recovery is life, and life is imperfectly human. Say it out loud, "I don't gamble anymore", it feels funny at first, I say it to my dogs! lol For me, it works! Those are some powerful words.

I feel all of your pain. I recently came into some money (over $50,000) and I was excited about it. I paid some bills, moved my family, and afterward had approximately $30,000 left. Within two weeks I've lost all of the $30,000 gambling. During that time I've lost $5,000 per day and won $5,000, $13,000, $12,000, etc. on days to eventually lose all of my money. Now, it's rent time and I have just enough to pay rent and a couple of bills for the month. I'm beyond sick to my stomach and upset with myself for falling into this trap again. I was diagnosed with a gambling problem three years ago. I went to treatment and was doing well up until 2 months ago. Since April 2017 I've lost over $40,000 in gambling chasing my loses. I now wake up every day wanting my money back and trying to figure out ways to get it back immediately. My thoughts are becoming delusional and I'm overwhelmed by these sickening feelings and thoughts. I have another $15,000 to $2o,000 coming in at the end of this month, and I'm afraid of what I may do with this money. My thoughts are that I can use it to get back what I lost. I'm stuck in this delusion and can't seem to get out of it....