Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Do you wish you could "take" back your addiction? Do you wish you could just turn back the clock and turn back the time, that you decided to get in your car and head in the direction to your favorite watering hole of a casino? I remember, I used to just wish, if only I had decided, not to go, if only I could turn back time, or if only I had called someone to tell them to "stop me" from going.
Nobody could have stopped me, they may have put a road block in my way, for a bit. Once I was all consumed with the thought of playing cards, that was the end of it. I would start to think about it, I would start to think "I have this under control" and I would just go for a little bit, etc., than, the rest would be history.
Now, at this time, and this place of my recovery, I don't look back with regret, at least for going, or losing the money. I have remorse, and maybe even a bit of sadness, but no regret, because I can't change it, I cant get it back, the money or the time. I'm sad because I was such a wreck, I hated who I was, the people I worried, that makes me sad, but I also know that each day I am in recovery, I am stronger for it.
Is there a chance I can drive directly to a card room, and convince myself its okay? ABSOLUTELY! I stay aware, and in tune with all of the possibilities, this addiction can grab a hold of my head, and convince me, in a blink of an eye, that I can go, just that one time and play a game of cards. It can. When I start to think it can't, and that I am cured, is the day I need to be very concerned.
I don't live in fear of this addiction, but I am very aware of its disgusting, lurking hold on me, if I let it. Only few things hold me now, my family when they hug me, my attention when I have a clear head, a good book, or movie can hold my attention, etc., but this addiction, today, does not have a hold of me, emotionally, physically, or spiritually.
Hold me my sweet warriors. Happy Memorial weekend. Be safe. xoxoxox
Nobody could have stopped me, they may have put a road block in my way, for a bit. Once I was all consumed with the thought of playing cards, that was the end of it. I would start to think about it, I would start to think "I have this under control" and I would just go for a little bit, etc., than, the rest would be history.
Now, at this time, and this place of my recovery, I don't look back with regret, at least for going, or losing the money. I have remorse, and maybe even a bit of sadness, but no regret, because I can't change it, I cant get it back, the money or the time. I'm sad because I was such a wreck, I hated who I was, the people I worried, that makes me sad, but I also know that each day I am in recovery, I am stronger for it.
Is there a chance I can drive directly to a card room, and convince myself its okay? ABSOLUTELY! I stay aware, and in tune with all of the possibilities, this addiction can grab a hold of my head, and convince me, in a blink of an eye, that I can go, just that one time and play a game of cards. It can. When I start to think it can't, and that I am cured, is the day I need to be very concerned.
I don't live in fear of this addiction, but I am very aware of its disgusting, lurking hold on me, if I let it. Only few things hold me now, my family when they hug me, my attention when I have a clear head, a good book, or movie can hold my attention, etc., but this addiction, today, does not have a hold of me, emotionally, physically, or spiritually.
Hold me my sweet warriors. Happy Memorial weekend. Be safe. xoxoxox
#girlluvs2garden#
When I first sought help I wanted to reverse it. I wanted the counselor to take the addiction away and let me be a social gambler again.(Preferably using the magic wand method.) I was so full of false pride and false beliefs. Without the long, lonely, even hopeless struggle that my addictions have inflicted on me I would not have sought the help that I truly needed. Without the darkest times I likely would not have had the motivation to make sweeping lifestyle changes.
I remember it sounding strange the first time I heard someone in recovery say that they were thankful for their addiction. But now, I realize that without having gone through the hell, I would not have gained the friendships, the hobbies, the spirituality, the creativity, the variety, the color, the fullness and the peace I have in my life now.
#girlluvs2garden#