Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I haven't posted in a long time. I have been gamble free for almost 1yr. I am posing a question all of you. Have you ever thought that you were gambling to escape something in your life? It's not about winning money because if it were then we would all walk away with money in our pocket. I think I gamble because it is fun, I don't have to think about anything at that time, the winning, meeting people and having a drink. It is truly an escape from life for the moment. I loved that feeling of excitement but hated the after effects which does keep me from wanting to go back. I think my unhappiness comes from growing older and not knowing what I want to do in my life( and you would think at my age I would have already figured it out). I think I am having a midlife crisis. I have been married for 37yrs which is 1/2 of my life. I was married @ a young age. I do love my husband but I sometimes dream of a different life. I would like to travel but my dream doesn't include him. I am trying to re-evaluate myself and really trying to find out who I am. I don't like feeling like this either. I have tried counciling but it really hasn't helped me.
Yes, the biggest reason I gambled was to escape divorce emotions and the feelings.
It also made me feel sociable and liked.
Never forget the dopamine they say curses through your brain.
So I liken it to losing a lot of money to not feel, yet feel liked, and to feel "high".
I am your age and I am changing so much right now.
I have researched "what do I want out of life" and find a lot of info on how to sit down and figure out what it is.
It has been said that having what you need and not feeling "fulfilled" not having "meaning" in life will not make you happy.
So I am making game plan changes for life and addiction.
You are by far not alone in your thinking as you will see once you research this a little more. I have found that therapists take to much time and money just getting the background info, better to just get to work and read and write down and do the work to get to it yourself.
the very best of luck,
congrats ! wow one year,
I will get there.
Interesting that so many of us are middle age as well a time of great transition that has been likened to a second adolescence by some.
I have really been feeling stressed the last few days, and so many times my immediate thought has been of the casino. Don't worry, I'm not going. Don't have the money and don't want to go down that road again. Just amazes me how many times I feel my sense tensing up, and how quickly I just want to escape! I have alot of work to do!!
2mcdphnurse - have you thought about asking your husband if he would like to travel? Can you go with a friend or two? Alot of peope do travel with their friends because their spouse does not want to. I can't imagine my husband being ok with that, but some are.
37 years is a long time. We all evolve as people. Sometimes together and sometimes further apart. I am 55 and I still am not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life - so I can relate. Marriage takes alot of work, maybe it is time to put new life into it? Not sure how long you gambled before you quit, but your life is different now a year later, I would assume. Congratulations! Maybe you could encourage him to grow with you!
I found an addiction specialist. She is helping me tremendously. We have set a plan. I am gf for 2 months now. I am becoming more social i to replace that fake social environment. I actually come home after a day with friends feeling a high. I guess we all have to find a replacement that works for us.
Good luck!
I am so terribly happy that you have found a new social environment. I was using the casino as my total social life.
I am also happy that you have found an addiction specialist to help you form a new lifestyle.
Can you possibly tell me what kind of things she/he is suggesting in your recovery treatment.
It would be so interesting to me; I am trying to form my recovery options and I am looking at everything I can do to beat this.
again,
so so so very excited that you are finding joy in life and better choices once again, I know that is what it is about.
Please know that I ask only in the spirit of helping us addicts find recovery from this dreadful disease.
God Bless
As far as the question on gambling, I think many of us are, indeed, lured into this to escape and that escape can take many forms- loneliness, loss, responsibilities, etc. However, I think what keeps us there is the "action." I often thought that escape was at the root, but taking a long hard look at it, it really was the thrill and the heart pounding excitement that kept bringing me back. That echoes your thought on winning and losing. In other words why the heck would you go back gambling after going broke- it was the action.
Anyway, all the best to you and keep things moving in the right direction.
Jay
I am sorry that you don't have GA nearby.
Even if it is say 100 miles away you might want to just once check one out.
I too find that this site is indispensible.
I get so much understanding and knowledge about this terrible thing right here.
That is why you see my post and I read almost daily.
I just want to jump start my recovery because I am about to get very busy with my plans for living again.
I too was divorced and oh so lonely.
I guess I was one of those girls who made her life over into my husbands life.
I won't do that again.
We all must have our own identity etc.
If you ever just need someone please just email me through this site.
I am always available and happy to respond.
We really need each other to get through this thing.
I do hope you find all the comfort you need and more.