Thanks Ken, This post is very true and I definately need to remember this. I am one who is having allot of trouble being happy. I don't know if it is withdrawl because I haven't gambled in a while or what. My energy level is nil. I really don't know how to get going on my new life. My d-day is 9 days away and I am very scared. My life is a struggle and I have a very hard time seeing the good. My job, my home, my family and friends ( I have only 1 real friend ) all of these things present problems and difficulty. I am trying to stay positive and be happy but it's so hard. For the past few years the only time I felt happy was on the way to the casino. Now that will be done. So, now I have to find better ways to be happy. I am an empty nester. My life was all about raising my son. I don't know how to live a normal life. Before I had my son almost 21 years ago I had quit drinking 1 year before he was born so actually I have had an active addiction before and after my parenting years. I want to be happy, I just don't know how. I really need to change my attitude about things.

Chearbear, I see a warning from you to me here. Since my son has been born I have made gradual but dramatic improvements in my choices such as not drinking and not socialising with people who lead me into temptation. However the warning from you to me here is how much of myself should I let become dependent on or determined by my son. I also have isolated myself, I receive no phone calls from any friends. However I do find comfort and stimulation in education, learning new things really cannot be beaten as a great distraction from the same old boring gambling.

James, I miss my time with my son more than anything, I had friendships with the parents of my son's friends. I really miss all the activities. We were involved in so many things and when that stopped my gambling increased to a high speed. Now I must find things to do that will replace that. It will be interesting to see where this path will lead. Learning new things like you said is a great idea to fill the time in a healthy way. I think it's very important to get out and be with people. There is a movie called Happy. I think everyone should see it. We saw it on Netflicks for free. It's about how people all over the world make themselves happy and they do so with nothing. It shows that money is not the key to happiness. My husband and I absolutely loved the movie. It's a documentary.

Hi Ken. good post. At some point you do have to stop waiting for the perfect life to magically appear. The past is past and no matter how dismal it was.. dwelling on it will only lead to future unhappiness. All we have is this very moment to put a smile on our face. Tomorrow is no guarantee...life is a short trip. Since i have been gf for abit..im trying to focus on finding happiness in the simplest things. Just taking a walk along the river and feeding the ducks brings we way more joy than any stupid game at a casino. i still have my days where i get mad..thinking about all i could have had if i never gambled..but i must look forward. Im focusing on the positive as much as possible. Take care Ken and all the ds family. Hope we all find our happiness one day at a time Love Y'all Johnny

This sounds true but here's where it all went wrong for me. Not feeling sadness was like putting on a fake face every day. I told the world I was happy by the way I presented myself. I thought it was the right thing to do. Buck up and be grateful for what you have was my motto. Fake it til you make it. It lead me to lead a life that was not authentic.... which I think was one of the myriad of reasons I gambled.

Because of the way I was raised, I didn't think it was okay to be mad or sad or unhappy or grumpy or even too happy.

My advice: Be sad if you are. It's okay. Let others know you are sad. Don't dwell on it... just let it be. But don't let that sadness stop you from doing everything you can to feel better. See a feeling and recognize it. Greet it with a "hello there, I see you". Don't live in denial of what you are really feeling.

Find someone to share your feelings with. It makes them not so scary.

Now when I am happy, I am truly happy and it feels really good. When I'm sad it feels kinda bad. I'm okay with that. I was living in a world without feeling. I was scared of them. I was lonely. I was numb. I ran to the casino for that numbness. I don't ever want to do that again.